Whenever I finish a movie I particularly like, I always
google its Rotten Tomatoes Score. I don’t know why. I am not a masochist in any
other area of my life, but when it comes to movies I feel compelled to see what
other people thought of the ones I really loved. I guess I want to feel like I
can share this love (which is probably why I want to make movies in the first
place), like I want to know this thing that struck such a chord with me felt
similarly to other people. I want to feel understood,
and like there’s some common human experience, man…
But I usually just end up righteously frustrated. Because
there are a lot of critics out there, and there are also a lot of stupid
people, and so logically there are a lot of stupid critics out there.
And I’m not saying that if you don’t agree with me, you are
stupid. Not all. Please, disagree with me. Let’s talk about it. I love a good
argument. (voted most argumentative in high school, people, and I am proud of it).
No, I mean genuinely stupid people. People who never did
well on reading comprehension tests. People who don’t understand how to watch
movies. These are the stupid people of which I speak.
As an example, let’s look at some of the aggregated reviews
for Celeste and Jesse Forever (70% on
Rotten Tomatoes):
“Aside from the premise of two people who can’t seem to
separate, the storyline is nearly non-existent. All in all, rather annoying.” –
Alex Zane, Sun Online
This person has never been in love. And probably got less than
average scores on reading comprehension quizzes in high school.
“The film shows its toothless nature when it refuses to
properly eviscerate Emma Roberts’s silly tweenie pop star. But there are worse
crimes than being just a little bit too nice. “ – Donald Clarke, Irish Times
This person is just a
little bit too much of a dick. No wonder he missed the whole point of this
film, he is basically the main character (more on this later).
“The film bears a kinship with the underrated 2006 film The
Break-Up; both are, for lack of a better term, post-romantic comedies by
exploring the largely virgin territory of what happens long after the
meet-cute, when life takes hold and love goes sour” – Jim Schembri, 3AW
This person loves postmodernism, and I’m not even gonna shit
on him, because I do too, but come on. This is not another The Break-Up. It’s been a long time since I saw that movie, but I
recall lemons being thrown at Vince Vaughn. Also, Vince Vaughn. The Break-Up was about the cheap laughs
you can squeeze out of a huge fight, battle of the sexes, all that jazz. Celeste is not even about a
relationship, not really. (Also, wth is 3AW?)
Celeste and Jesse
Forever was written by Rashida Jones and her writing partner, Will
McCormack. Jones also stars in the film, her first leading role, along with
Andy Samberg, as the titular Celeste and Jesse. These two met when they were in
high school, married in their mid twenties, and we meet them six months into
their separation. Even though they’ve technically broken up, he still lives in
her guesthouse, and they still hang out every day. Their friends think this is
weird. Celeste sees no problem with this arrangement, and Jesse is obviously
still in love with her and just waiting for her to come around. This sets the scene
for the next heartbreaking two hours. This is the kind of film that you know
going into it is going to hurt like hell, but it’s just so damn beautiful and
funny and oh okay, let’s do it! – so maybe I am a masochist.
If they still hang out everyday, why did they break up?
Celeste is a highly driven owner of her own branding and “trend-predictor”
firm, and Jesse doesn’t have a bank account, doesn’t have a job, and doesn’t
have any plans to acquire either. Celeste believes that she’s done waiting
around for Jesse, that he doesn’t measure up to her success, and that she
deserves a “grown-up” for a partner. But he’s still her best friend, so she
keeps him around in the backyard.
Celeste, as you can probably tell, is completely
insufferable. She knows she’s right about everything, and it’s really goddamn
annoying because she usually is. She’s right that Jesse is a loser. She’s right
about all the trends she’s always forecasting. She’s right about most things in
her life.
But she’s also deeply unhappy. And that is what Celeste and Jesse Forever is about; it’s
not about a break-up. It’s not about being cool, eviscerating tweenie stars, or
standing up for indie culture. And it’s certainly not about two people who
can’t separate. It’s about the line between being right and being happy. The
difference between being cool and being authentic. And how many people in this
world are so happy to judge (ahem, film
critics) that they forget how to stop
judging and see the world, people, things, as they really are: deeply
flawed, and deeply loveable.
As I’m sure you’ve guessed by now (I told you this film
fucking hurts after all), Jesse eventually moves on with his life and Celeste,
realizing how much she fucked up, falls apart without him. She has to confront
the fact that yes, she was right that Jesse needed to grow up, but wow, being
right and losing Jesse fucking sucks.
And the film chronicles her journey out of delusion (she is so far up her own
ass about being right in the beginning she completely believes she’s over
Jesse) into confronting what’s really going on in her life, into acknowledging
her shared responsibility for the breakup, and finally into accepting that she
doesn’t know everything, doesn’t need to be right all the time, and can really
let Jesse go. It really follows her journey into grace.
Along the way, she’s confronted with several obstacles that
aren’t Jesse that also lead her toward acceptance – since really, life is not
all about romantic relationships, and there’s more to a great personal change
than a break-up. There’s the guy she lectures for cutting on the coffee line
early in the film (who really is a dick, but really? It’s that big a deal to
you?). There’s Paul, the guy that asks her out at Yoga and is totally predictable (but turns out to
know a hot underground salsa club, because he’s fucking CHRIS MESSINA). And there’s Riley, the tweenie pop star portrayed
by Emma Roberts (and rudely mentioned in the review above), whom Celeste’s
company represents, over Celeste’s protests. Celeste doesn’t like Riley because
she is “low” culture – she’s basically a stand-in for Ke$ha/Miley Cyrus, and
Celeste literally eye-rolls at her. But then they get to know each other, and
yeah, Riley is young and stupid and wears atrocious clothing – but she’s also a
real person, who was homeschooled, and has a secret boyfriend, and becomes
Celeste’s friend.
Riley’s character represents another facet of this
right/happy dialectic: the low/high taste bullshit. Celeste is convinced Riley
has no taste, but Riley is just a person. There’s no reason to feel threatened
by her or her music, and there’s every reason to examine her as a legitimate
part of culture, and a legitimate person, rather than write her off. The only
thing harmed in the process of writing-off is the person doing the writing;
they are the ones whose world is limited.
Forget about how much I love this concept (because seriously
critics, fuck off). This film is beautiful.
I cried pretty much the whole way through. It’s not only physically gorgeous,
the acting is completely stellar. I wasn’t sure what to think about Andy
Samberg in this movie, but he is just amazing, and the chemistry between him
and Rashida Jones is totally heart breaking. There’s one scene where, after
he’s met someone else and he and Celeste are definitely getting divorced, he
comes over to Celeste’s house just to see her. Because they’re best friends.
And they miss each other. And she invites him in and they hug and the
tension…and then they kiss for a second because they were married for six years, but they both know that can’t
happen so they stop. And Jesse says “can we just lay here for a minute?” And
they do, they spoon on the couch and the camera lingers on Celeste’s face,
enjoying this thing that feels like it should last forever but can’t…
Heartbreaking.
I’m not doing it justice. Go watch it. Did I mention Rashida
Jones wrote it?
I watch a lot of TV. Has that
been made clear yet? Anyway, with all these season premieres and series pilots going
on the air (which might be my favorite time of year), I've been thinking about
the way in which I watch different shows. Aren't you interested in this
post already? Not only will I be rambling on about TV shows I watch BUT I'll
also be talking about how I watch them. Man, this is some fascinating stuff. I
wish I got to be you and experience my thoughts from the outside. So yesterday I was watching
the season six premiere of Sons of Anarchy. I'm going to keep this post spoiler
free, by the way. As I'm watching it, I'm thinking to myself: I can't handle
this. These people's lives are just too much. I should turn it off. Do I? Of
course not. I'm too invested. They need to be okay, or as okay as it's
believable for a motorcycle gang to be, and I need to see it. So, yes, I will
watch as more people are killed and raped and robbed. I will watch the pain and
destruction, those five seconds where someone smiles, and then back to the
heartbreak and deceit.
We’re in a
relationship now; I’ve committed myself to seeing this through to the end and I
can’t give up on them.It’s similar to
how sport’s fans watch every game because their team needs them.Concept is the same, I feel compelled to
follow through because they deserve the support.And by they, I mean everyone from the
characters to the crew.The key word in
this whole spiel is “invested.”It’s
more than just a generic curiosity, it’s deeper than that.It’s as if I’m experiencing everything the
show is experiencing without the buffer of being involved.Does that make sense?There’s a combination of frustration and amusement
as you watch it all play out, knowing nothing can deter you from watching the
next episode.Best comparison I can give
you: babysitting.You only have so much
control and things are going to go horribly wrong until they’re okay for a
second and then chaotic all over again, but it doesn’t matter because you’re
not going anywhere. That literally all went
through my head during SOA’s opening credits alone, and then I start thinking
about what other shows are coming back that I'm excited to see. There are some
I've been thinking about and reading spoilers for and scroll through Tumblr
hoping for a sneak peek, but there are others where I'll tune in I guess, but I
could take it or leave it. This is when
most people would just stop watching all together, and I'll admit that's a
smart decision. Where TV is concerned, I only make bad choices. I'm like a sixteen-year-old girl in love with
that bad boy. Don't try to stop me because it's happening. I will watch Hart of Dixie and then complain
about how ridiculous it is. You can be sure I'll sit there shaking my head at
Nashville, while simultaneously having an opinion on every character.And there’s no doubt I’ll see every absurd
second of The League, regardless of its downward spiral. Why?That’s the real question.Why would I waste hours on these shows that I’ll
admit I rarely like and usually even avoid watching right away?Because I’m interested enough.That’s the hook… interested enough.I have this stupid need to know what happens.They might not grab my attention with every
plot twist, but just reading recaps won’t cut it.I don’t need new worlds or flawless dialogue
or complex characters.Give me some
likable people with various problems, and I’m in.This could be a personality defect, but I
like to think it’s due to my patient nature.Sometimes there’s just one character that keeps me coming back.They’re often a secondary character too, but
I’m curious about or humored by them enough that I’ll sigh, lay back, and spend
20-40 minutes watching a show that only showcases them for half or less of that
time. Even people who watch less TV
than me, which is basically every other person, must understand this.Sometimes it’s a dysfunctional relationship
you can’t escape and other times it’s a casual acquaintanceship that you go along with because hey, why not?
You know when you're watching TV and something happens and you're just like: yes. It can be dramatic or hilarious, depressing or exciting; the point is just that it's iconic, it's big, it's what you've been waiting for. These intense moments are usually amplified by the fact that there's been a big build up. Very few shows find the sweet balance between a slow burn and an already boiling pot. For these scenes to have the right amount of payoff, you need to know the characters and what they're trying to accomplish. Sometimes someone's in love and you, like them, are waiting for that perfect moment for them to express themselves. Other times there's a mystery that's finally solved, only that's not the moment you remember; it's the aftermath that sticks with you because just when you thought you could relax, everything got worse. And sometimes you just see comedic perfection; there's no background or deep emotional issues at play - it's just two ridiculous people being ridiculous for your entertainment.
I want to preface this list by saying there are an endless amount of these moments in general, but there are also a bunch I just couldn't find a YouTube that I wanted to use. So while I do stand by this list, think of them more as examples of KINDS of iconic moments rather than the best ones possible.
You're excited now aren't you? These are still awesome! Keep reading! They're the bestest.
1. Friends - Everyone finds out about Chandler and Monica
I'm starting out light with some classic sitcom mishap. If you didn't watch Friends (who ARE you?), then here's a little background. Chandler and Monica are dating... secretly. Though, Joey knows... and Rachel knows... and now Pheobe knows. Rachel and Pheobe JUST found out and then Chandler and Monica found out that they found out. This is the joke the whole time, climaxing with Pheobe's line, "They don't KNOW we know they know we know." Amazing. So instead of talking to each other like normal people (where's the fun in that?), Pheobe tries to seduce Chandler. He is trying to do the same? I think? Then... just as one of the most awkward on-screen kisses takes place, Chandler breaks away with the declaration that he loves Monica. Now, if you've been paying attention to this show, you know that Chandler doesn't love people. And if he does, he shuts up about it. Commitment is his greatest fear and he hates emotions, so to say "I love you" is a big deal, to yell it in front of a group is a HUGE deal. And for Monica, she's been waiting for this. Her last relationship was perfect short of the guy being so old he didn't want to have kids that were younger than his grandchildren. Then she says she loves him too. GUYS, she loves him TOO. This is so spectacular. I know everyone out there is all Rose&Rachel, Ross&Rachel, and they're great but Chandler and Monica are where it's at. They grow together and learn from each other and truly accept each other. They have a beautiful relationship that kind of happened by accident. This moment is the first of many that makes you laugh and say "awww" at the same time. Before it was public, these two could say it was just sex but now it's more - and everyone knows.
2. The West Wing - Presidential Debate
Do you have any idea how hard it is to pick ONE Jed Bartlet moment? Because it's very, very difficult. Everything that comes out of his mouth is perfect, thank you to Martin Sheen but mostly Aaron Sorkin. If you haven't watched The West Wing, stop reading this, get on Netflix, and do it now. This is show is iconic all on its on. ANYWAY, this moment in particular is one of those moments that makes you go "Boom." Bartlet kills it. Whether you care about politics or not, this scene will make you a) care and b) wish actual debates were like this. Bartlet kicks this guy's ass with his MIND, which is really the beauty of every Sorkin moment. The show itself is about the West Wing (I just blew your mind right?), but this moment is about holding on to that. There's an election and you've been with these campaigners since the beginning, so you're fully invested. You want a win, and in typical TWW fashion, you think you'll get it but you can't be sure. More than that, these guys are nervous, and when they get nervous, they get quirky and energetic, so regardless of your belief that it'll be okay, you're still sitting on the edge of your seat bouncing up and down with too much adrenaline. So you have the build up, both from earlier in the season and the moments leading up to him taking the stage. Everyone plays a part in preparing this man and getting him on stage then he hits a grandslam. There's something gorgeous about how he explains his opponent's stance, accepts it can be seen as valid, then explains how it's actually fundamentally flawed. Bartlet does this again and again making him appear genial and brilliant, which he is. Perhaps my favorite part of this whole thing isn't the second he says, "Can we have it back please?" but it's seeing everyone else react to him. They just realized what you just realized, we got this.
3. Veronica Mars - Keith saves Veronica
Another show that had a lot of great options - Veronica Mars. While I love love-triangles more than the next guy, my favorite relationship on this show might have to be between Veronica and her dad. It's unbreakable and more solid than anything else on this show. Plus, though she acts tough, Veronica is only 17 and she needs her dad; it's nice to watch her need somebody. Her mom left her and her dad stayed; the way VMars sees it, "The hero is the one who stays." They're each other's rock. So with that said, this scene puts it all in danger. Veronica figures out who killed her best friend and is then attacked by the murderer himself. Classic. Luckily, she called her dad with the news and he guesses which route she'd take (so in synch), so he goes looking for her when she doesn't show up at home. Then, the badass that he is, he saves her life. The show is called "Veronica Mars," so it's not like you actually think she'll die, but I thought he might. Or she'd get horribly injured or I don't know, something else terrible would happen. Honestly, the beauty of this moment comes from his lack of hesitation and her screaming "Dad!" Veronice doesn't get scared, we just watched a season of her being fearless, and now she's trapped and surrounded by fire: she's terrified. As she well should be, but it hits you harder because you've never seen her afraid before. The whole moment reminds you how much they love each other and how much the need each other. They're kind of all they have, this is it, father and daughter, no more and no less. They will fight for this, more than they'd fight for anything else. So when he runs into that fire and gets his little girl only to have the tables turn immediately, forcing her to put the flames out and still stop the killer... I mean that's intense. I have goosebumps just remembering it and I didn't even watch the scene before writing this. Veronica and Keith: the real VMars love story.
4. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - The opening scene
If you haven't seen this scene, then you obviously didn't go to school to study television. Yes, I also watched this series, but this moment is shown in lecture after lecture. This is primarily because of what he's saying. As they point out, it's all true and no one wants to admit it. This is one of those great events in TV history where a guy is saying what we're all thinking. It may not be true anymore, but it was and it probably will be again. TV loses its character and its life, it becomes listless and easy. Though I think there's more to this moment than the words coming out of his mouth because this is the pilot, this is the beginning; you don't know anyone yet and you also don't care, but here's a guy laying it all on the line. You can be sure he gets fired for this, so think about the risk he's taking. Regardless of WHAT he's saying, he's saying it. He cares enough to go out there in front of millions and end his own career. That takes balls. And means it must be worth it. This isn't a show I'd force on anyone, but this is powerful because the moment he takes this risk, the rest of his crew are right there with him. You understand the loyalty and the mindset of this world without even meaning to. You've been Sorkin'd.
5. The Vampire Diaries - Elena sets her house on fire
Elena has lost her mom, her dad, her aunt, her guardian, and now her brother. Her mom and dad drowned in front of her when their car went of a bridge. Her aunt was murdered while Elena was trapped nearby and forced to watch. Her guardian went insane, tried to kill her, and then came to only to realize he had to die - at least they got to say goodbye? Then her brother Jeremy, the only family she had left, ups and gets himself murdered too. At least she only finds him a few seconds later so she didn't see the death? Yeah, I thought that was weak too. This all happens mid-season four, so we know Elena by now. She's generous and sweet, fierce when she's fighting for someone else, full of guilt, and dangerously compassionate, so when she's left with no one, with nothing, she can't handle it. We've watched her break down before, but she's usually found something to grab onto and believe in. Most of the time, that's Jeremy. Major issues now: Jeremy is dead and she's a vampire. So all those traits of hers are intesified and overwhelming. The acting in this scene blows me away because a ridiculous range of emotions are hit: fear, desperation, anguish. So when Damon tells her to "turn it off," she does. And BAM. The Elena you knew is gone. Her face loses every single tinge of emotion that was just breaking your heart. Not only is Jeremy gone, another character you loved, but Elena is too. The Gilberts are no more. I'd also like to mention the editing/cinematography of this scene because it's incredible. She's down on the ground, broken, with shockingly little hope of being put back together.
(You really need to see what happens next for the full effect...)
6. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Nightman/Dayman song was born
Mood change, amiright? I don't have much to say about this moment other than I know the words to this song and they make me happy everytime. One of my favorite parts of It's Always Sunny is their inside jokes. When you've seen every episode, there are certain things you're "in" on. This is one of them. Nightman and Dayman are flawless and here you see them come together in an impeccable musical union. Anytime the song plays again, you'll smile. I promise.
7. Friday Night Lights - Any time anything happens ever
I was going to choose Coach's pilot speech then I was going to use his State's speech then I remembered the moment he makes them run in the rain then I remembered the Mud Bowl then I remembered the Lions being formed THEN I realized none of these are on YouTube, which is a travesty. But then I saw this video and yes it's for Emmy consideration, so it's perfect but also... this IS the show. It's every emotion in every moment. It's teamwork and struggle and speeches and love. There's something in the nature of this show that's almost painfully genuine, maybe it comes from the actors having very loose guidelines for what to say in each scene or maybe it comes from the fact that this is such a real world or maybe it's how natural these characters are. They try so hard to be better. Better fathers and mothers, better daughters and sons, better friends and players, better Texans and Christians. Just better. And they strive for it as if their lives depend on it. So whether you're watching Coach give a pep talk or Landry tutor Tyra, Matt practice til the sun goes down or Riggins clean himself up, Smash hug his mama or Tammy stand up for herself, you believe in them. You believe in them with everything you didn't know you had. Because this is a TV show and they aren't real and this game never happened, but FNL sucks you in and makes you have faith. Faith in what? I don't know. Everything. All of it. It's inspirational moment after inspirational moment purely because you're watching people try, just like you're trying. They want and they need and they try only to mess up over and over again, but their world keeps spinning so they get back up and they try some more. And each and every time they do it with clear eyes and full hearts.
If you keep reading this blog, you're going to see a lot of these faces. I actually can't believe I haven't written about it yet, because for all the shows I watch, this one is at the top of the list. Could be due to its mythical elements or maybe it's because my best friend living 3,000+ miles away watches it too or perhaps it's all for Ian Somerhalder. Either way, I love this show, so don't speak ill of TVD around me. If you don't like it, that's no problem, but keep your reservations to yourself, or I might have to cease communication with you. = ) Just kidding. Sort of.
ANYWAY, the season that's about to start is season 5, and my excitement for the premiere was getting so out of hand, I had to turn to Netflix and start the show from the beginning to curb my cravings. (Yes, I know I'm addicted.) So as I'm watching it a second time, I'm thinking to myself, these people's lives are terrible. Really really just awful. For so many reasons, some of which aren't supernatural. Even before each of them actually interact with vampires - their lives suck. Like anyone, I have my favorite characters and usually feel the worst for them, but since I was going in trying to be biased free, I was able to realize the absurd terribleness with which that these teenagers have to deal. But, here's the question: Who's life is actually the MOST depressing? (note: spoiler alert through to the most recent episode 4x23, don't read if you plan to watch)
Elena Gilbert: The Consistently Distressed Damsel
Subject number one. Let's get out the basics first. She's seventeen, parentless with a stoner little brother and a carefree aunt that she ends up taking care of more often than the other way around (love you, Aunt Jenna!), her ex-boyfriend is a sweetheart though she ripped his heart out, and her best friends are polar opposites so she's often in the middle. Okay, that's pretty sucky. Mainly the parentless part. They drove off a bridge and drowned. She was in the back seat. Why not her? As if teenage girls don't have enough self-doubt, this one literally questions her own existence. Then the brother thing, I mean Jeremy is a handful and having to worry about him really shouldn't be her job, though she throws herself right into it. Did I mention this is all pre-vampires? Yeah, that's right. So when vampires DO come to town, she falls in love with one (Stefan): awkward. Of course she doesn't know initially but even when she finds out, her love is just too strong, you guys! Besides he's a good guy really, he only kills animals, not people... anymore. Once she accepts that he's a vampire, all should be good. Except, well, said vampire's brother Damon is a bit of a loose cannon and needs to be kept in line. But the biggest tribulation in this forming love triangle: she looks IDENTICAL to their mutual ex-girlfriend, you know a vampire that's hundreds of years old and quite bitchy. I'm not going to go into the entire plot of the show explaining why Elena is so important, but bottom line, her blood can create a line of vampire-werewolf hybrids that are unflinchingly loyal to the cruelest, oldest vampire in the world. Casual. This means she can't be killed, but don't worry, everyone she loves can die while she watches. And most of them are. I think the biggest argument for Elena winning the worst life competition - she has been present when every single family member of hers has died. Also important to mention she turns into a vampire herself making her sired to Damon so bye bye, Stefan. Though is it real? And shouldn't she want to be human again? Can she be human again? Can she have Damon OR Stefan if she's human again? Oy vey, it never ends for this girl.
Jeremy Gilbert: The Overly Protected Kid
Like Elena, he's an orphan, but unlike Elena, he takes the easy way out of feeling this pain: hello, drugs. Any and all kinds are welcome. Ew. You're too cute to be a druggie, Jer. Luckily this doesn't last too long because his crazy ex-girlfriend dies putting him on the straight and narrow. Well. That's sort of what happens. Really she becomes a vampire and his sister's boyfriend kills her but then his sister's admirer and said boyfriend's brother compels him to forget all of it. So instead he just thinks he was abandoned. Better? Probably not, as he later admits the pain was still there, he just didn't know why. No worries though because Anna comes along to turn that frown upside down. Buuuuuuut crap, she's a vampire too and with ulterior motives. Fortunately, Jeremy figures it out and has no problem with that facet of her personality, he just wants to be one too. No no no, Jeremy. Bad boy. She refuses and he says fine and they fall in love anyway. Guess what happens next? Anna dies. And Jeremy doesn't forget this time. In the midst of his revelation, he discovers that Elena already knew and that his ancestors were vampire hunters. Heavy stuff. As the show goes on he dies and comes back to life a handful of times until one day he becomes a Hunter. Yes, capital H because this means his only desire is to kill vampires. Main hitch, Elena is now a vampire soooo.... yup, he tries to kill his sister - phenomenal. He's convinced not to through some witch spells and all is good until he's killed for real. Or IS he? Bonnie (the third girlfriend and a crazy witch) brings him back only to die herself. Fuck.
Stefan Salvatore: The Dangerously Unstable "Good Guy"
First of all, it's important to note that Stefan has 100+ years on everyone but Damon, giving him an advantage. With that said, I have the least sympathy for this guy mainly because he's the worst thing ever. His main issue: he has a blood problem. I know you probably think all vampires have this problem. No no, not like Stefan. Stefan is to blood the way crackheads are to crack. It's bad. He gets some human blood in his system and the dude starts ripping people's heads clean off their bodies. While I can understand that this isn't completely his fault, when comparing his problems to other people's problems, a self-inflicted one doesn't rate very high. He tries to control it and go in the "bunny diet" but it never works. This makes me think maybe he's stupid. Dude, it's almost been 150 years, how have you not realized that quitting cold turkey is going to fail? LEARN TO CONTROL IT. Probably important to note that the only person that has ever been able to help him is killed... by Damon. His life really went haywire when Katherine fell in love with him. If she hadn't, then she never would have turned him into a vampire and he never would have forced Damon to turn and most of the other horrible things that happen to these people wouldn't have happened. Again, this isn't his fault so much as Katherine's, so I guess that makes his life pretty miserable. The source of most of his anguish is guilt. Over everything. He even feels Damon's guilt, which is a waste of perfectly good self-loathing. Bringing him up to present day, thousands of murders later, he finally finds happiness with a girl (Elena) he loves more than anything, but she ends up falling for his brother as he himself falls off the wagon. There's hope when he discovers she's sired to him and therefore it might not be real, but don't worry... it's real, bitch. He even gets to hear her profess her love to Damon as a nice little icing on the cake. The real kicker? He's then stuffed into a box by his very own evil-doppelganger and thrown into the river, where he can drown over and over and over without actually dying. Oops.
Damon Salvatore: The Chronically Broken-Hearted and Pissed
I believe this has already come up, but just in case, fair warning: my Damon bias is a little out of control. Back in 1864, Damon was a sweet guy who left the Confederacy because "it didn't feel right." Then he falls in love with Katherine, which was really stupid. Discovering she's a vampire changed absolutely nothing and he drank her blood daily in the hopes he'd die and come back as a vampire only to be with her forever. The snag? She loved Stefan. Sorry, dude. Then she's taken from him, so he decides to die, why live without the love of his life? And he does die, but he also had that pesky vampire blood in his system, so he comes back to life along with Stefan (even though he thought Katherine wasn't going to turn him). No bother, he decides not to feed and he'll die for real soon enough. But Stefan has given in to the bloodlust and forces Damon to do the same. And now he's stuck in a life of being a villain as he promises to make Stefan's life miserable. Luckily Damon discovers that Katherine isn't dead, only locked in a tomb by a spell, and so begins Damon's quest for all the necessary ingredients needed to release his girlfriend. Fast forward 140 years: the guy is STILL looking for a way to free Katherine. He goes to the town his brother has returned to, causes general mayhem all in the name of love, and finds out that Katherine is alive and well and was never in the tomb to begin with. She just doesn't care about him and never really did (she even returns to tell him so - it was always Stefan). Ouch. Since he had successfully hurt everyone in town at this point, Elena is his only friend because, as she put it, "they have something." Naturally, he falls in love with her but again, "it's always going to be Stefan." So Damon pulls back his feelings and helps the town's teenagers with their wayward problems despite them hating his whatever-it-takes mentality. He slowly gains some friends in Mystic Falls, but a lot of them are killed, including his best friend. Then Elena turns into a vampire. And she chooses him. Someone, FINALLY, chooses him. But wait, she's sired to him so it's probably fake. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, agrees that there's no way Damon could ever be loved. Then the miraculous happens and she breaks the sire bond and says it again, "I love you, Damon. I love you." He gets the girl and this should catapult him out of the competition, but can we please note that this is the first time anyone has said they love him since the 1800s? Chew on that for a sec.
Caroline Forbes: The Vampire Barbie
Before all the supernatural goings on in Mystic Falls, Caroline was doing okay. She was actually Miss Mystic and everything. Sure she had a lame relationship with her mom and her parents were divorced, but she was a pretty what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of girl. There was a little romantic drama in her life since she always picked the bad boys but then she picked Matt, who is far from a bad boy. She needed to push a little, but he fell in love with her eventually...right around the time she became a vampire and developed a new desire to suck him dry. Kinda put a damper on the relationship. The whole monster-of-the-night thing looks kind of awesome on Caroline though. Sure, there were some bumps in the beginning when she killed an innocent man, but unlike Stefan, the guilt didn't tear her apart and unlike Damon, she didn't revel in it. The girl got a back bone and grew into herself. Which was good and bad because her parents detest vampires more than anything else. Her mom literally tries to plan ways to kill her when she figures it out and her dad kidnaps and tortures her. Can you imagine your own dad tying you to a chair and inflicting physical harm all to change who you are? THEN when he inadvertently gets turned into a vampire, himself he's faced with a choice: drink human blood and turn as well or die. He dies. He hates what she is so much he'd rather die than be the same. In the midst of her Daddy-drama, she stops seeing Matt for fear of hurting him and starts to date a werewolf, who can literally kill her with one bite. Said werewolf (Tyler), gets turned into a hybrid so he's part vampire/part werewolf and is also sired to his creator Klaus. Klaus is horrific and cruel but falls in love with Caroline. This seems to both help and hurt her because she can get him to save her friends from time to time, but he also enjoys sending Tyler away so he can have Caroline all to himself. I wouldn't call C-Forbes' life easy, but in comparison to the others, she's got an easy ride.
Bonnie Bennett: The Used and Abused Witch
If I liked Bonnie more, I'd probably admit that her life is the worst, or at least on the Gilbert/Salvatore level. As it is, I think she's annoying. But putting my opinions aside, here are some facts: She essentially always knew she was a witch or that she was at least something. She figures it out right around the time the vampires arrive. Prior to this, she has a relatively calm and happy life. As the vampires start to need her help, she gets roped in via Elena. Elena is her best friend and she cares about the Salvatore's, so Bonnie protects them when she can even if she harms herself in the process. While attempting the most serious feat for Damon (who she hates btw), her grandmother (who raised her and is also a witch) helps but dies in the process. Bonnie takes a break from Elena and the drama, explaining that she isn't going to ask her best friend to choose but she needs time away from the vampire mayhem. Sorry, Bonnie, because you're just going to keep getting pulled back in. I could go through each scenario but the main gist is this: a witch is needed almost always and Bonnie is the only one in Mystic Falls, therefore she is involved in everything and used constantly. Lucky for her, she can normally outsmart whoever is trying to screw her over and hurt them regardless, but the pain never ends. Her biggest flaw is her addiction to the magic. She starts relying on it too heavily and when it's taken away and dark magic is her only option, she gives in quickly causing her to accidentally kill herself while trying to save Jeremy. Her other downfall is a strict view of right and wrong; she doesn't allow a grey area, so she butts heads with almost everyone at some point or another. The saddest truth is that everyone took her for granted, except maybe Jeremy, but loving him only seems to result in death.
Tyler Lockwood: The Desperately Angry and Reformed Jackass
Tyler has always had an anger management problem. Prone to rage blackouts and all. To put it plainly: he was a dick. And then his abusive father died. Making him a bigger dick. He made out with his best friend's mom. Who does that? And he attacks both his mom and his enemies, basically anyone that gets in his way ends up with a fist in their face. It's not his fault though, he has werewolf in his system. Obviously. So his uncle Mason, who actually IS a werewolf, comes to Mystic Call to check on him. Tyler can tell there's something he doesn't know and long story short, convinces Mason to tell him the family secret: if you trigger the curse, you're a werewolf forever. To trigger the curse, you have to take human life, intentional or accidental - doesn't matter. Blood on your hands and once a month you have to chain yourself up, drink some poison, and hope you don't escape when in wolf form. But before Tyler goes through the change, Mason disappears (Damon kills him) and Tyler is on his own. Stellar. This is around the time he falls for Caroline who is dating Matt (his supposed best friend) and discovers his bite could kill her. This results in Tyler leaving town to figure his life out - probably the smartest move any of these characters have ever made. When he finally returns, he's captured to be used as a sacrifice. Damon saves him, along with Caroline, but he's quickly turned into a hybrid, which is arguably worse. Being a hybrid means he doesn't have to go through the hell of turning into a wolf anymore therefore creating an unwavering loyalty toward Klaus, who's blood turned him. Loyalty probably isn't strong enough, it's more like blindly following. If Klaus says "rip out your heart," Tyler would end his own life. It's an insane level of commitment, which Tyler tries to break. He even succeeds. Klaus shows how impressed he is by killing Tyler's mother (yet another orphan in Mystic Falls). Now Tyler can't kill Klaus because he's an Original, and if you kill an Original, you kill any vampire in their bloodline, so by killing Klaus he would kill himself. Klaus has no qualms about killing Tyler however, and this forces Tyler to run yet again - yes, away from Caroline (the only person who seems to care about him for some reason).
Matt Donavan - The Human
Matt is the only human character left. Prior to the vampires, he was nursing a broken heart, taking care of his older, drug-addicted sister, and running the household both his parents abandoned. Post-vampire, he watches his old ex-girlfriend Elena fall in love with Stefan, his sister is turned into a vampire and then killed by Damon, his new ex-girlfriend Caroline becomes a vampire as well then dates his best friend Tyler, who happens to be a werewolf He's then used as a blood bag/helpless victim over and over again. Not to mention two manipulative, older vampires, Rebekah and Katherine, find him dreamy and try to woo him. He's caught in the middle of everything while having essentially no power or control compared to all those supernaturally enhanced. Matt's also the only one with real world problems on top of the rest, or seems to be. I don't see how the others are passing high school, but he's the only one that needs tutoring. None of them have money problems either, but Matt has to hold down a job amidst the crazy. His mom comes back only to leave again. He's alone, physically and emotionally. In every way a person can be abandoned, he has been. Yet it's everyone's love for him or their appreciation for untainted human life that Matt saves the un-save-able, whether it be Caroline controlling herself, Jeremy not attacking Elena, Tyler relaxing, Elena turning her humanity back on, or Rebekah wanting to change her lifestyle. He's innocence in a world of sin. While everyone's life is pretty dismal on this show; I might have to give the prize to Matt. Maybe that's just because I'm human and his life is the one easiest to relate to, but I hope this season they give him something to smile about.
I love this videographer on YouTube (ChemAttraction) and she captures the show well. Here's some proof of the pain:
*The Original Family isn't mentioned because that's a whole post in and of itself. Alaric and Jenna are also left out due to the fact that I focused on the teenagers.
Do you know how many times I've seen Friends? And no, I don't mean how often I've watched episodes on TBS or The CW, I'm talking about popping in Season 1 Disc 1 and floating merrily until Rachel asks if they can get a quick coffee and Chandler responds, "Where?" That's right. I know the final line. I've watched the entire series a minimum of four times. (Hey, what do you think got me through middle school?) That's not including how many times I've caught bits and pieces on TV or the mini-marathons I've had with friends. Aside from clearly admitting I have a problem, I'm trying to make a point that people take pleasure in reliving the same jokes and drama over and over again. Here's my theory on why.
1. Comfort
People have always enjoyed books and movies more than once. There probably wasn't much quantitative proof of this initially, but I know for a fact my grandmother read Moby Dick every year for decades. And my mom has watched Cat Ballou countless times. I could go on but all the examples are the same. People find comfort in what they already know. Each time I put on Friends, it's like that moment you come in from playing in the snow and your mom hands you a mug of hot chocolate. Hearing the theme song to The OC lets me relax and hearing President Bartlet spew off quotes calms me down. These characters were a part of your life either weekly for years or daily for weeks depending on how to ingested the show. Regardless, bringing them back into your life is like connecting with old friends.
Example: Reading Harry Potter for the first time is a whirlwind. A fantastic one, don't get me wrong, I wish I could experience it for the first time again, but there's something more magical in the second or third go round. It's less scary, less intimidating. You know the players and the rules, you understand how the world operates. What's more, you know the outcome, you can take solace in already having read the last page of Book Seven. People are scared of the unknown, that's always been true, so diving in with eyes wide open is like going to the first day of school as a senior. You'll notice things you didn't pick up on before and probably understand bits more thoroughly, and that tiny bit of hesitation from starting something new is gone. You're in charge. You're all knowing. And this time, you'll be ready.
2. Obsession I used to take offense to this word, but I'll admit that yes, I am obsessed. With what show? All of them. All of the shows. Well, there are probably like three I don't watch. But the rest, I could watch always. But why? That's the real question. For me, it's usually because no one wants to talk about it anymore and I'm tired of the gifs on Tumblr or the videos on YouTube, so maybe I should just experience the whole thing again... Getting to the finale will be SO much better once I sit through the beginning again, don't you think? Agreed. Season one, let's get on this. It's funny because while I've watched The Big Bang Theory three times (I don't know how I have the time to live this way - I have a real life too, I swear), I wouldn't consider myself obsessed. Which sounds insane, but I don't think about the show much and I don't know the lines or many of the inside jokes real TBBT fans do. It's great and funny, but background noise. The West Wing on the other hand, I've seen less but definitely like more. I don't know if it's the tone or the characters or the concept, but I could talk about TWW for much longer than TBBT.
The most interesting part of this to me is that I have a friend who feels the complete opposite. So I don't think certain shows are more obsessable (new word, accept it), I think it's something else. I think it comes down to the feelings a show gives you and the feelings you want from a show. I'm obsessed with The West Wing because it gives me hope and makes me feel like the world can change and we can grow and that America really is a great country. Whether it's Josh or Toby or CJ giving a speech, I'm fully focused and wholly invested. No matter how many times I've seen it. Same goes for Veronica Mars in my life. She's a badass and watching her badassery time and time again just makes me more convinced I can get on her level. It's like it was so good the first time then you build it up in your head convinced it can't actually be that good, so you experience again and get proved wrong.
3. Nostalgia This is the sort of thing where you had a really bad day so you grab a pint of ice cream, put on something comfortable, and load up a show from when your life just wasn't so hard. You developed a relationship with these characters and they remind you of being young and carefree. My parents love to talk about MASH because they remember their lives at the time of watching. For my generation, I'd argue it's Boy Meets World.
Unlike the binge watching we do now where we see it all from start to finish. Most of us lived alongside Cory, Shawn, and Topanga through reruns (which all alone are literally shows purposely being available to see a second time). No matter how it happened, I have seen every episode of BMW, but that wouldn't stop me from searching on YouTube to watch it yet again. Every single time Eric calls for Mr. Feeney, it's gold. Another show that transports be back in time is Dawson's Creek and that wasn't even for my age group. But when I was younger, I still watched every second of that love triangle. Because time and time again, you remember how it used to be. Whether it was running downstairs after clearing the table to watch The Cosby Show with your family or waking up early to catch cartoons, these shows never lose their influence. They're more than comfort, they're a time machine.
4. Boredom This might be the one people admit to. Not that I don't watch TV out of boredom, but I love TV so much I'm rarely bored while it's on. That being said, what shows would I pick specifically to watch again BECAUSE I was bored? You know what? I think shows like Parks and Rec or The Office take this roll because they're just entertaining enough. If I'm feeling lethargic but need a way to pass twenty minutes, you better believe Leslie Knope and Michael Scott can get me through the struggle. And these are two shows I love and have seen every episode of (minus those few where Jim was mean to Pam at the end), but they can sometimes be like fluff. Hilarious, clever fluff, but fluff all the same. They're easy to get through and smart without requiring too much of my brain. I can lay back and enjoy, nice and easy. And the best part, and point of this post, they don't get old. I can watch Dunder Miflin run away from that bat almost as many times as I can relive the Harvest Festival. The joy from these two shows is endless. Round seven and I'm still smiling.
5. Friendship Are TV shows are strong foundation to any of your friendships? Did you just say no? Think about it again because I bet you're wrong. It's not the ONLY thing we have in common, not by far, but Supernatural legitimately started one of my friendships. Neither of us even watch the show anymore but she recommended it to me, showed me an episode (which we watched together on an iPod on our way to Italy, btw), and I was hooked. It's really amazing to introduce something you love to someone new. It's like sharing a really major part of yourself because if they don't like it - that would hurt. Which seems silly since that doesn't mean they don't like you and you don't have to like all the same things as your friends, but liking and hating things along with other people is way more satisfying than doing it alone. Supernatural is a particularly good show for marathoning with friends because it has a lot of levels: it's dramatic and scary and funny and heartbreaking. Possibly the best part, it's very discussable. The lore and mystery lends it self to long conversations about hypothetical situations. SPN also has a lot of religion in it without preaching anything specific, which is actually really fascinating because it's not something I picked up on the first time. It might not seem like it, but this is a show that has a lot of layers. Ones that you won't notice the first time around. Primarily because those boys are insanely good looking. And lastly, I can't forget this one. The Vampire Diaries. While I'm only watching it for the second time now, I have watched clips, read articles, and scrolled through gifs endlessly. And I'm not sick of it. Not even slightly. Again, the main joy in this overload of TVD comes from sharing
it with my friend across the country. Sure, I'd love Damon all on my own, but loving him and everything he says WITH someone is much more entertaining. So bring this back to rewatching series, I haven't started from the beginning many times, but I HAVE marathoned the greatest hits. If you haven't found a show to share with someone, try it, it revolutionizes the whole thing.
There you go. I don't care what movie or book or show it is. If you liked it. Do it again.
