shows i watch like popcorn

Full disclosure, this idea wasn't mine.  Avery, my co-poster, mentioned it a while back but her job requires her full attention whereas mine goes in and out, so I'm stealing it for myself.

In case the title doesn't make sense to you, this is a post about those shows that come in a myriad of flavors: caramel, chocolate, classic, but never disappoint.  Think about it, even if you're eating unsatisfying popcorn, it's still popcorn and, ultimately, good enough.  You can eat it kernel by kernel or throw back a whole handful at a time.  Popcorn is amazing as you enjoy the sweet buttery flavor coated in just the right amount of salt, but every time, without fail, I have too much and end up with a weird lump in my stomach.  It's not nausea exactly, but it's not pleasant.  This is extremely similar to the feeling I get after spending precious hours on shows like Hart of Dixie or Cougar Town.  They seem harmless at the time, but afterwards I always shake my head and promise that was the last time.

Don't get me wrong, I like these kinds of shows.  And I'm watching them voluntarily.  But they're fluff.  I feel like I'm about to contradict my "guilty pleasure" post.  So let me make something clear: I'm not embarrassed about watching these shows, there's just so little brainpower required to watch them, that sometimes you feel the need to read Newsweek after.

Let's see some examples, right?  I know that's what you're thinking.  Okay okay... here's a few.

 

Baby Daddy

This show is cute.  There's not really another word to describe it.  A young guy (Ben) ends up having to take care of his daughter (Emma) when the mom runs off and his two lovable, goofy roommates (Tucker and Danny) agree to help.  He has a crazy mother (Mrs. Wheeler), shocker, and a gorgeous but often overlooked female friend (Riley) that he's known since childhood.  There's a love-triangle between Ben, Danny, and Riley, but only kind of.  It's as if the writers can't decide who the audience wants her to date so they keep teasing both relationships without making any kind of real moves.  All three of them confess their feelings to the others yet somehow, despite their kookiness and usual blatant disregard for other people... they never spill the beans.  I guess some things are still sacred.  Regardless, this show is a lot like the baby herself.  It's adorable, a little messy, and often incoherent.

Hart of Dixie

Only real reasons to watch this show: the accents and the soundtrack.  And even then, you need to like southern drawls and country twangs.  It also helps if you have an affinity for Rachel Bilson.  Again, there's a love-triangle that I think the writers are trying to figure out along with the rest of us.  I've heard the chemistry between Bilson and Wilson Bethel was too obvious to ignore, forcing the show to explore a relationship between their characters.  Knowing that actually makes it all make more sense.  The mayor is a former football champ who owns a crocodile and just wants to find true love, while the town gossip rivals that of Stars Hollow.  I think it's safe to say the creators had Gilmore Girls in mind as they created this feel-good absurdity, but without the pop culture references and the witty banter - it's pretty inferior.

 

 Pretty Little Liars

At least this is suspenseful popcorn.  For all it's plot holes, PLL still keeps me interested enough to tune each week.  And despite the ridiculousness of four girls "stealthily" walking down a well-lit street in four-inch heels, I want to see what they find while peeking through a huge leafless bush.  Maybe it's the female friendships or maybe it's the clothes, but every Tuesday I make sure to check in with the liars.  Maybe it's the mystery without the stakes.  Really horrible things happen to them, but it's so much horribleness all the time, that it begins to lose it's intensity.  How many times can their hearts really be broken?  They're 17, for God's sake.  And not that the infamous A isn't terrifying and evil, but they seem to create a lot of problems for themselves.  The bitch is usually blackmailing you, so if you just stopped being so stupid and started telling people the truth or acting more honestly - you'd be in the clear, girls.  It's really on you.  Sorry not sorry.


What shows keep you fully entertained while you simultaneously will yourself to turn them off?

guilty pleasures and why they're not

I've tried to start this blog post about seven times.  No idea why I'm having a hard time, since I've ranted about this very subject to anyone who will listen.  Perhaps I just have to jump right in?

"GUILTY PLEASURE" IS A STUPID TERM.

There we go.

It is though.  Primarily because either way you slice it, you're talking about TV shows, people.  And this is coming from someone who has gotten through many an emotional whirlwind with the help of fictional characters and alternate realities, but whether it's Pawn Stars or Homeland - you're choosing to sit on a couch and stare at a screen.

Let's break this down a little.  When I was in school, I took a class about the History of Television.  We talked about the "lowest common denominator" and how a lot of popular shows, usually sitcoms, were dumbed down to please larger audiences.  My response: Who cares?  Does that make them less enjoyable?  For some, maybe, but in general I don't see anything wrong with watching hours of Two Broke Girls or a "smarter" alternative: Louis CK. 

 vs.

I don't watch either of these shows and I get the argument: Two Broke Girls is just sex jokes while Louis deals with bigger issues and feels more real.  Well, maybe I don't want to watch a believable version of reality.  Maybe I unwind better while watching two idiotic waitresses try to make a cupcake business work.  YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

I think my biggest issue with a lot of people's grumblings about the ridiculousness of The Vampire Diaries and the genius of Game of Thrones is that few people have seen both.  Lucky for you, I thoroughly enjoy each of these shows equally, but very differently.

vs.

These shows aren't trying to achieve the same thing, and I think that's the most important thing to remember.  The Vampire Diaries is on The CW while Game of Thrones is an HBO spectacular.  Their demographics aren't the same, therefore the content isn't either.  TVD is trying to connect to female high school students and people from the original Buffy fan club.  GOT wants whoever they can get, while also not caring who tunes in because they're on cable.  Both these shows have supernatural elements, new universes, insane love stories, and sibling rivalry.  One has a psychopathic murderer interrupt a school dance while the other has a sadistic cretin end a wedding in bloodshed.  There's lore and lies in both series as well as danger and destruction.  So why is TVD looked down upon and GOT praised?

I'm not going to try and argue that they're the exact same thing or on the same level per say, but as someone who watches both avidly, I have a hard time getting the bandwagon that Game of Thrones is superior purely because everyone's decided it is.  Sure, TVD has a bit of a tedious love triangle, but twins are having sex and making babies together on GOT, so let's all just calm down for a second. 

Bottom line: whether you're watching Sons of Anarchy or Pretty Little Liars, if you're enjoying yourself, chuck the guilt and give into the pleasure.  No one actually cares what you're watching, they're just trying to go along with the critics and watch the highly worshiped shows like The Americans or Mad Men.  Both of which I find boring.  Before you get angry, I didn't say they were bad... I just said I was bored.  I think they're well written, well directed, and well acted, but I just don't care about the characters or the plot.  Don't know why, just don't.

I've now run out of steam.  Anyway.  You get my point.

A la Little Miss Sunshine, "Do what you love and fuck the rest."

how tv can break my heart

It's gonna get heavy... and also... sporadic spoiler alert.


Some shows just break your heart.  I don't mean they make you cry.  It's more intense than that.  It's like someone is reaching into your soul and pulling it apart piece by piece.  I know there are heartbreaking movies, but they don't get me in the same way a TV series can.  There's something about the investment put into a show.  And I'm not talking about the writers and the crew and the actors... I'm talking about the audience.  Think about it for a second.  If you decided to tune in to the pilot of The West Wing... you just began a SEVEN YEAR relationship with these people.  Seven years.  That's a long time.  Cheers was eleven.  One Tree Hill was nine.  It doesn't matter what kind of show it is or why you like it... you're voluntarily finding a way to check in with specific characters once a week for twenty-two weeks a year.  That's more commitment than some people give their friends and family.  And much longer than a lot of romantic relationships.

For me, there are a lot of shows I binge watched, so it's a different kind of relationship.  More based on lust, for lack of a better comparison.  It's like this all encompassing teenage-like passion.  You must have it, all at once.  I would shamefully stay up until 2AM letting Netflix start the next episode of Sons of Anarchy and hunker down for another 52 minutes of bliss.

This was occurring to me as I laid awake after watching the most recent Teen Wolf episode, which ripped apart my heart by the way, because I have legitimate feelings for these characters.  These writers/producers/directors/actors slowly trick you into caring and loving for all these different kinds of people without you even realizing it at first and then they tear their lives apart.  Whether they're dumped or fired or hit by a car, somehow everything gets flipped upside-down and you're helplessly watching from the sidelines.  About now is when you remind yourself that it's fiction.  None of this is actually happening and in reality, this painful moment probably involved a lot of laughs as the crew tried to keep calm.  But that doesn't make it easier really.  You know it's fake, that's a major part of the intrigue, right? When else could you live in a world with vampires or be a member of the Parks Department?  Never.  And that's why it's so important to you to hold onto this universe and these people.

I don't care if you were a Friends fan or not... you wanted Ross and Rachel to have their happy ending.  And you knew it was a sure thing, well, you were 99% sure.  95% maybe.  But in that moment when Ross is standing in his living room listening to that infamous voicemail, I was 3% sure.  And I was pissed.  It was ROSS AND RACHEL.  If they couldn't be happy, then why did I watch all their romantic turmoil for years of my life?  Guys, I needed this more than their fictional selves did.

And on The West Wing, he HAD to win that election.  I mean, how else would the show go on?  These people couldn't just lurk around outside the White House while the other guys ran the country.  There shouldn't have been a question, but I promise... you'll be on the edge of your seat.

I could go on and on with examples, but you get the idea.  I think what might get me the most, is when you know something as an audience member, that the other characters don't.  Like there's a pain you're aware of that someone is struggling with, but no one else has figured it out.  For example when you know someone is in love with someone else but that someone else has just professed their love for a third someone.  Or when someone has died and people know and the person who will be the most crushed is about to find out.

But perhaps the worst, is when you take a second to think about what is REALLY happening to these people.  Nick Miller's dad just died - last time they saw each other, they fought, as usual.  Elena Gilbert has NO family left.  And she watched each of their deaths first hand, so... there's that.  Bones and Hodgins are acutely aware of what they believe will be their last moments because they're buried underground in a car.  Ryan Atwood is watching the only girl he's ever loved die in his arms.  Veronica just watched her father's plane explode... all thanks to the guy who raped her.

The joy is there too during a wedding or a birth or a proposal or a birthday.  TV has happy times, but it's the devastating ones that you remember.  The funerals, the accidents, the arguments.

Sometimes people argue characters on TV suffer more than people in real life.  That could be true, and for most people it probably is, but I think it just hits us harder when we watch it on screen.  When it's your own pain, you can harness it and control it somehow.  Whether that's ignoring it or wallowing in it or throwing it in someone else's face.  But when you're sitting on your couch or laying in bed and watching a close up of someone else's agony... it reminds you of every shitty thing that's ever happened to you or anyone you know and that gets wrapped up with your love for the character, then it all stabs you in the gut. 

Dramatic.  I know.  But that's how it felt as I watched these poor seventeen-year-olds go still underwater, all to save the only parents they have left.  Teen melodramas get a bad rap, especially the supernatural ones, but this moment had nothing to do with teen romance or werewolf lore or high school drama... this was three young people voluntarily, and without hesitation, doing what they can to protect their parents.  Their parents.  That's something everyone in the world can understand.  They were told they could die in the process, told they would never be the same, told it might not work, but that didn't stop them from taking a deep breath and going under.

I get a lot of pleasure from watching TV, but there's a decent amount of anguish too.  Luckily, I can say it never lasts long.  A few days later, you see the actor in a magazine or a promo for next week and the world reminds you it's not real.  It never was.

 



bromances, how i love you

Bromances are the best.  I may even appreciate them more than most TV romances… in fact, I’m going to admit it now.  I do.  They’re more satisfying in a lot of ways because they don’t end (and if they do it’s because one of them died tragically trying to save the other).  I don't know why female friendships aren't as fun to watch, maybe they aren't being written well or maybe we all just have to admit they're just a little less fun.  My roommates and I joke around and tease each other, but there is a point with women where it goes too far.  There's an invisible line that we know not to cross.  This is a generalization obviously, I can't speak for all women or any men really, but it seems like with guys: there is no line.  I don't know why this is or if it's true at all, maybe I’m full of shit, but on TV this is how male friendships are portrayed.  


Bromances can draw their strength from blood relation to childhood bonding, but regardless, this shit is serious.  Guys on TV seem to take their friendships more seriously than anything else.  Having dated one half of a Bromance, I think it's safe to say they're well represented.  I wanted various kinds of Bromances to be discussed, so don't be offended if your favorite platonic(ish) male friendship is missing.  Here are 10 of my favorite Bromantic Relationships:

 

 

1. Sam and Dean (Supernatural) - The Real Kind

These two are for real brothers.  By blood.  Same parents.  The whole thing.  These guys, my god.  They will break your heart week in and week out because as the show goes on, they only lose more, including themselves, forcing them lose each other, and I promise: it will destroy you every time.  They're the best and the worst thing for each other because as long as they're in each other’s lives, it will be hell... possibly literally.  But they don't seem able to function any other way.  Whenever one of them goes to the dark side or tries to have a normal life, they're dragged back to the world of angels, demons, wendigos, and scary ass scarecrows.  I think because they're really brothers, you know they'll always come back to each other.  Though honestly, you could say that about most of these relationships.  It's all the pain these two have been through together that really proves it's never ending.  They've both been to hell and back, they've both died to save the other's life, and they’ve both slept in the car so their brother can get lucky.  The list goes on.  Sam and Dean are more than brothers, they're all they have.  There isn't anything they wouldn't do for one another.  I don't know how else to say it, I feel like I'm just repeating myself.  If this was a romantic relationship, you'd tell them to break up because they care more about each other than themselves, it's all consuming and incredibly destructive.  The Winchesters aren’t healthy, but without them, Supernatural would’ve been canceled eight years ago.

Shout out to the fact that the actors are also BFFLS.  Don’t believe me? http://www.buzzfeed.com/sophie7999/jensen-ackles-and-jared-padaleckis-epic-bromance-awqx  

 

 

2. Scott and Stiles (Teen Wolf) - The "Before it All" Kind

I love this show, and I’ve already written a post about Stiles, but let’s talk about this friendship.  The show starts with these two and usually ends with these two.  It’s actually a nice change of pace from the usual teen melodramas because romance isn’t the center of it all.  They both have girls they date and are interested in, but it comes down to their friendship more often than not.  And, at least for me, that’s what high school was about.  The people you could count on regardless of what was going on with family or relationships.  So much of high school is talking to your best friend about how to study or what to wear or, you know, handle the fact that you’re a werewolf now.  Stiles has been there for Scott since the beginning and I’m big enough to admit, Scott has been there for Stiles too.  Through the girls and the packs and the hunters, these guys come back to each other.  The second season ends with the two of them, back on that lacrosse field, and Scott says, “I’ve lost everything,” to which Stiles cockily replies, “You still have me.”  Scott smiles and reminds him, “I already had you.”  Stiles winds up his shot… “You always will.”  What these guys have is pure, unadulterated friendship.  They aren’t blood related or forced to work together, they aren’t random roommates or awkward pseudo-siblings.  They’re friends.  And they understand each other.  Stiles can help Scott handle his anger because he knows how his friend’s mind works.  And Scott can calm Stiles down when he starts to spaz out because he knows why Stiles is the way he is.  Teen Wolf is a surprisingly dark show and the characters are faced with death and darkness constantly – they lost their innocence a long time ago, yet this friendship holds onto youth somehow.  Despite everything, Scott and Stiles are sturdy and always able to smile.

 

3. Peter and Neal (White Collar) - The Father/Son Kind

Peter is Neal’s surrogate father.  There’s really no other way to look at it.  Peter is FBI while Neal is a criminal, Peter is black and white while Neal lives in gray, Peter wears cheap suits while Neal wears nothing but Armani.  These guys are polar opposites and make each other so much better.  Without Neal, Peter would always be coloring inside the lines, he wouldn’t take his wife out for a rooftop meal and wouldn’t have such an interesting track record chasing down the bad guys.  Without Peter, Neal would be in jail.  Like actually.  Peter has kept Neal on the straight and narrow (for the most part) since season one.  I think their relationship works because they’re both so attuned to the human mind.  They get each other, sure, but it’s more than that.  Both of these men survive by being able to anticipate what other people are going to do, whether that be their girlfriends, their boss, or each other, they always fucking know.  Another key aspect of this relationship: don’t ask, don’t tell.  Peter knows Neal can only be so good and Neal knows Peter can only be so bad, but this doesn’t stop them from working together or enjoying each other’s company because they’re able to overlook what needs to be overlooked.  I don’t think women could have this particular relationship.  Way too much of it is built on trust, and some of that is trusting that the secrets you don’t know are for your own good.  Both of these men have reputations to uphold.  Whether it’s to keep their nose clean or maintain their edge, they both constantly have something at stake – you’d think this would make everything harder, but the push and pull seems to allow these two to shine in their areas of expertise and avoid the rest.  Their foundation is rockier than most, but Peter needs Neal almost as much as Neal needs Peter and Neal needs Peter like whoa.
  

4. Mike and Harvey (Suits) - The Mentor/Mentee Kind

Is this a bromance?  Or is this something else?  Mike worships Harvey and Harvey also worships Harvey… so at least they have that in common.  Harvey taught Mike everything he knows, or he’s in the process of doing so, which was nice but I’m ready for that to screw him over because he’s an ass.  I used to love him now I think I’m tolerating him because he’s Harvey Spector: Legal God.  But get over yourself so other people can act human around you, like Mike, who you’ve supposedly taken under your wing.  I believe that Harvey cares about Mike, but he’ll always look after himself first.  I think Mike knows that, which helps, but that doesn’t seem to stop the sting every time Harvey acts like his selfish self.  I think this is one of those situations when the mentor needs the mentee more than the other way around.  Mike needed Harvey to get him in the door, 100%, and I’m not saying Harvey hasn’t been there for Mike; the dude will throw down on his behalf without a moment’s hesitation, but he’s so into himself I don’t know how real his compassion for Mike is.  Mike, on the other hand, is a quick learner.  He’s absorbed most of what he has to from Harvey and continues to learn from everyone else.  He isn’t afraid to go after the girl he wants and he cares about almost everyone he encounters – client or coworker.  Harvey may be a better lawyer, but Mike is a better person.  If they’re both willing to bend a little and learn as much as they can from each other, maybe this can stop being a purely working relationship and turn into a real friendship.

 

 

5. Nick, Schmidt, and Winston (New Girl) - The Roommates Kind

I’m talking about this one as a three-way.  They each offer something important to the relationship.  Nick brings the constant confusion and neediness of a baby animal, Schmidt adds some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder paired with overcompensating douchiness, and Winston grounds them both while keeping things spontaneous by peeling off his clothes in a fit of anxiety or stealing a badger.  These guys are weird.  Not the kind of weird to desperately try to avoid, but the kind of weird where you make a friend come with you the first couple times you hang out.  They're all well-meaning and are usually just trying to help, but these three are a collective mess, a loveable mess, but a mess all the same.  I think the strength of their bond comes from an acceptance of who each of them are.  Schmidt may give Nick a hard time about being an abominable slob, but he also buys him cookies when the mood strikes him.  Winston may think Schmidt is a crazy person, but he'll still yank on a wetsuit and help him look for his perfect fish.  Nick may... well Nick tries.  He shows his love in the ways he can, which Schmidt and Winston understand.  You can only expect so much from Nick Miller.  These three were even able to sustain their Bromance while living with a girl, we'll see if that continues now that said girl is dating one of them, but I have faith.  All three of them need the facets of the other two's personalities because they'll never actually be able to change who they are.  That being said, I'd argue they're growing up a little bit at a time, though I don't think they'd appreciate that idea.

 

6. Joey and Chandler (Friends) - The Needy Kind

Joey and Chandler just make me happy.  You can't watch these two have a conversation without smiling.  Look at them.  They left a baby ON A BUS... so silly.  This friendship is based on their need for a friend.  I do think they genuinely come to love each other, and pretty quickly at that, but they're friends because they are needy little buggers.  I mean, think about how often they hug and how sad they are when they live apart and how often they just sit together in their chairs.  They share a genuine bafflement over relationships, even if Joey just doesn't understand commitment and Chandler is afraid of it.  It's not that they're perfect people or anything, but they'll be there for you.  No matter what.  They truly care about people's happiness.  Even if it's Joey letting Chandler out of the box so he can date his ex or Chandler paying every single bill on his own.  Ross is part of the equation sometimes, but there's something about living with someone...a level of intimacy is reached only when you share spoons... and soap.  I really do think the primary reason this relationship works is how much they care about each other.  They're essentially dating without the sex.  What Chandler and Joey have is something neither of them will ever be able to live without.  That kind of relationship is strong and possibly undefeatable. 

7. Cory and Shawn (Boy Meets World) - The Forever Kind

Cory and Shawn.  Cory.  And.  They are who they are and that's all that matters.  Sure Topanga plays a major role in Cory's life, but no one is as ever-present as Shawn.  When these two are together, it's like the rest of the world doesn't matter.  And there's definitely something to be said for growing up together.  It proves two things: that their friendship was able to sustain over 20 years of drama and that they have a deep understanding of why they are the way they are.  It's not even acceptance really, it's just an unwavering understanding.  Cory doesn't go out of his way to accept Shawn's upbringing in a trailer park because he doesn't need to.  It's just a fact.  Same goes for Shawn and Cory's ridiculous anxiety; Shawn doesn't have to try to make Cory a calmer person, he simply does so without trying, like it's second nature.  There's no debating whether these two will be friends for the rest of their lives.  The answer is yes.  An integral part of who Cory is, is Shawn, and vice versa.  There isn't one without the other.  This isn't to say there are never problems in paradise.  Cory is the king of overstepping and Shawn has more barriers than anyone, so there's often an issue when Cory thinks he knows what's best for Shawn and there's a hesitation.  Although it usually results in Cory backing off and then Shawn giving in and doing whatever Cory suggested in the first place.  I guess the best way to describe their union is pure.  It's not cluttered by outside factors, it's just a natural, long-term friendship that allows these two to be.  They're Cory and Shawn.  Just like it's always been.  What else do you need to know?

 

8. Ryan and Seth (The OC) - The Unlikely Kind

This isn't the first Bromance I saw on TV, but I think it's the first time I recognized one.  It had a meet-cute and everything.  The other shows I watched as a kid, like Boy Meets World or Friends, had friendships from day one, and I never questioned them.  With Ryan and Seth, I got to watch the friendship form.  These guys are from completely different worlds and desperately needed each other.  Ryan legitimately had no one: no parents, no siblings, no friends.  Seth had loving parents, but that's not quite enough at 16.  I don't think anyone was surprised that Seth took to Ryan.  He needed a friend and here was a brother.  Plus, Seth was aware of his need while Ryan was lonely, brooding, and fine with it.  Seth is nothing if not persistent, and when he decided to let Ryan in, he didn't hesitate for a second.  More impressive is Ryan's growing appreciation for Seth.  He welcomed the constant chatter and never ending sarcasm, even picking up a few things along the way.  He became a comic book lover and helped Seth go after Summer for real.  This relationship is beautiful because it filled a very real void these two guys had in their lives.  Without Ryan, Seth would have remained alone and gutless throughout high school.  Sure, he would have gone off to college and things would have improved, but there weren't going to be any Ryan Atwoods at Brown.  Without Seth, Ryan would have ended up in the system.  Seth's need for him convinced Kirsten he was worth keeping around.  Seth also calmed Ryan down... his flying fists took a break, and while Ryan was never going to become a Jewish geek with a trust fund, he was able to relax into his life and focus on gaining something more than a record.  Watching the friendship go through so many changes while always remaining an important part of both of their lives is genuinely heartwarming.

 

9. Charlie, Mac, and Dennis (It's Always Sunny)  - The "Everyone Else Hates Us" Kind

These are three of the worst people ever in the world to exist.  They're assholes to the fullest extent.  Nobody else accepts their horribleness.  Just look at them.  Everything about them is terrible (and amazing).  Charlie definitely gets shit on the most out of these three, but depending on what each of them needs at the time, the strength of their loyalty wavers and blurs.  None of these guys are to be trusted, they're always looking out for number one... potentially number two, but that's only if they're trying to win an argument about their kindness.  Regardless of them all being narcissistic jackasses, they are never going to find other friends.  In fact they sometimes try, but always fail because they suck so hard.  No one wants to be friends with stuck up Dennis or religious psychopath Mac or drug and alcohol addicted Charlie.  I don't know that there are other ways to say this.  Their relationship is purely based on their mutual distrust and lack of interest in the rest of the world.  And to be honest, that's not an awful foundation.  Loving someone because you hate the same things is a real phenomenon.  There's something soothing about your anger being justified because someone else shares your frustration over people who don't like beer or donate to charity.  So while these three may not share a wholesome bromance, it's a bromance all the same.  Though I'm sure none of them agree or believe in that sorta thing.  Unless a hot chick does, then it's another story.

 

 

10. Damon and Alaric (The Vampire Diaries) - The Drinking Buddies Kind

Damon and Alaric's story is a classic: Hunter meets Vampire.  Hunter tries to kill Vampire.  Vampire kills Hunter instead.  Hunter can't die, so he awakens and the Vampire is forced to confront him.  They sort out some issues.  Hunter helps Vampire save Vampire Brother against some Evil Vampires.  Hunter and Vampire share some whiskey.  Hunter and Vampire are now friends forever.  Adorable right?  But for real, I find this relationship very endearing.  Though that might be due to my love for Damon.  Mostly, it impresses me.  The one thing Alaric has grown to hate more than anything is vampires, Damon specifically because he turned his wife.  And obviously Damon isn't a huge fan of the guy who's dedicated his life to killing his own species.  Yet when it comes down to it, these two realize they have more in common than they thought.  And while trying to defeat others, they come to not hate each other.  It's possible they're drawn to each other's strength, neither of these two are afraid of much, including dying, which gives them an edge in a fight.  But  both of them are also quite smart, which I'd argue is more important to them.  Neither Damon or Alaric cares all that much if you can snap someone's neck, but if you can come up with a plan to defeat the enemy without having to snap someone's neck... that's impressive.  Though, like most of these relationships, I think it comes down to acceptance.  Damon knows Alaric is a hunter, he just doesn't really care.  He isn't wasting his time trying to change Alaric's mind and prove that not all vampires are the bad guys.  Similarly, Alaric doesn't try to turn Damon into a cuddly animal-eating vampire.  He can accept that Damon is who he is and realize there isn't anything he can do about that.  My favorite part of their relationship?  It snuck up on them.  They didn't set out trying to make things work, they simply fell into a codependent relationship and didn't question it.  Even after Alaric's final death, Damon gives a scathing look and a quick, "That seat's taken," to anyone that dares to take his best friend's barstool.  If that's not love, what is?

 

 

Honorable Mentions... their Bromances aren't inferior, I just hit my limit.  Feel free to write why you appreciate them in the comments below or add any I missed.

 

 

11. Troy and Abed (Community) - The Indescribable Kind

 

 

 

12. JD and Turk (Scrubs) - The Married Kind

 

 

 

13. House and Wilson (House) - The Unhealthy Kind

14. Howard and Raj (The Big Bang Theory) - The Latent Homosexual Feelings Kind

15. Ted and Marshall (How I Met Your Mother) - The Legit Kind

 

 

And Shawn and Gus (Psych) to represent the one thing all these guys have in common - The Always Kind

 

plot vs. character: the age old question

I've been meaning to write this post for about a week. It's still half-baked, but I want to get it down, so here we go.

My age-old criticism of television is that it's half-baked (do we see a theme of this post?). I hate it when I'm happily watching along, getting sucked in to a plot, and then something happens that feels like it comes out of left field, that feels random, that feels wrong. It often seems like television creators come up with a premise, throw some characters into it, and then make it up as they go. And that pisses me off. If I'm going to devote literally hours of my life to something, I'd like it to be thought-out. As a viewer, you bond with a television show the same way you bond with a movie or a book or any other narrative. Except traditional narratives are written as a whole, and therefore as a consumer you can safely bet that details you eagerly gobble up in the beginning will be salient later on, that those details are purposeful. Television is maddeningly different than this. Lots of times details get forgotten, or ignored, in favor of a new plot or character. And as a viewer, it can feel like you're wasting your time noticing things. It can feel like you're being taken advantage of. It can make a girl feel cheap.

And in the end it feels like, what's the point?

As an example, let's take Glee, a worst offender in my book. Characters will wildly change between seasons, even between episodes. Remember when Quinn's character decided she was a goth? What? Where did that come from? Remember when Jesse was totally in love with Rachel, and then they needed a plot point to fit the songs they'd licensed for the next episode, so he egged her? Characters changing on a whim I can almost deal with, but their relationships also change drastically, and that's too much for me. It's like the entire show is bipolar. And we all know (hopefully) that it's difficult to have a healthy relationship with an unmedicated bipolar person.

So after a couple seasons, I broke up with Glee. I just couldn't take the roller coaster anymore. I needed some stability in my life, and Glee was too selfish, melodramatic, and manic depressive. I looked elsewhere to get my (entertainment) needs met.

So why does this happen?

I think it's a symptom left over from the original television scripted genre: the sitcom. The sitcom doesn't need to be planned out, because plot is irrelevant. The format of a sitcom goes like this: characters are stable, something happens to disrupt this stability, the conflict is explored, the conflict is solved, characters return to stability. There is no lasting change in a sitcom. Characters are set at the beginning, and they remain the same throughout the zany situations thrown at them. Think of Seinfeld-do those characters ever grow up? Think of The Big Bang Theory-Sheldon might make tiny steps towards new situations, but in the end he'll always be Sheldon.

Since the sitcom is carried by characters, plots can be made up on the fly. In a sitcom, plots are simply an excuse to watch the characters perform. Most stories are introduced and wrapped up within a single episode. There is no greater message in this type of narrative.

The opposite of the sitcom is, of course, the soap opera. Long-running and always deadly dramatic, the soap opera is pushed by plot, and characters get swept up in the tide of complicated stories until their personalities hardly matter. Characters do whatever they must to push the plot. But in this plot-heavy format, the writers also make it up as they go.

And that's why we have the modern problem facing our "premium" television: half-bakedness. Most modern hour-long shows take the sitcom and the soap opera and encourage them to make out. They're comedy and drama humping: the dramady. They're a hybrid of character-heavy vs. plot-heavy. And it can be tricky chemistry. Not every show gets it right. Glee certainly didn't. (yup, past tense. That's our relationship now).

But some shows have moved more gracefully into the modern age of television. Mad Men is a particularly good example. Mad Men is built on a foundation of character; I would honestly watch Don Draper (and Peggy and Betty and Joan and Pete and hell, even Bobby) in almost any situation, because I just find them so damn interesting, as people. Especially when they talk to each other. And, you know, do things. On the surface Mad Men feels like a show that is all about character, but once you start paying attention you realize how intricately and expertly plotted it is; in its six seasons serious shit has gone down on this show (historically and personally in the lives of these people), and the way the characters react and grow in response to plot points is a huge strength of the narrative. Where Glee takes characters in uncharacteristic directions, Mad Men strategically uses plot to push characters to unexpected, surprising places. The show is constantly revealing new dynamics and layers of character that you didn't know were there, but feel completely natural and fitting and of course.

This show has a basic plan, and know their characters very well. When they know what they're trying to say with the show, they don't necessarily need to know exactly where they're going - but they know the points to hit along the way. And that makes for a very satisfying, very meaningful television-watching experience. I know everyone's already said it, but - I wish more television was written like (not in feeling, but in execution) Mad Men. 

concerts bring out my inner sap

This isn't fictional, but I'd propose it's really important pop culture.  And it relates to my life directly.  And this is my blog.  So deal with it.

I went to a Hunter Hayes concert yesterday - he's a country/pop rock singer song writer.

(If you'd like to listen to him as you read... click on the video below...)

 

It was phenomenal.  As I tend to think all concerts are.  There's this line from One Tree Hill, yes... One Tree Hill, that I think of whenever I'm at a concert: "...when you go and see a really great band, live for the first time and nobody's saying it, but everybody's thinking it: we have something to believe in."  I KNOW that feeling, and I really do experience it every time I hear live music.  An energy fills the stadium or theater and ricochets off everyone in the audience.

Just so you can picture him as I talk about this concert... Here's Hunter in his element, I had no idea he was such an insane guitar player.

 

 

I brought my friend to this concert with me, and it was her first one, so on the drive down I told  her some need-to-knows for concert going.

 

1. I will buy a t-shirt regardless of the price as long as it doesn't feature the artist's face.

2. The opening act will tell you how amazing the headliner is about 10-15 times... and people will probably only cheer when they mention the headliners name.  Otherwise they just clap politely after a song.

3. There will then be an annoying break for about 20 minutes before the real show begins.  The lights will go off, girls will shriek (doesn't matter if you're there to see Justin Bieber or Goo Goo Dolls... fangirls are everywhere).

4. The headliner will then play a hit everyone can sing along to.

5. They will tell you you're their favorite town/city/crowd/venue.

6. They will play some new material you like, but you'll prefer they play hits you can sing along to.

 

If they're good...

7. They'll talk to you about what the songs mean to them.

8. They'll thank you for making their dreams come true.

9. They'll let you sing the chorus to the chart-topper because they understand you want to show off and also, how fucking cool is it that you memorized words they came up with?

10. They'll add some personal touch, like how much music means to them or a new song they wrote.

11. They'll ALWAYS come back for an encore.

 

There's more, there's always more I can't come up with... but this is the gist.

 

Hunter did it ALL man.  He told stories and made jokes.  He was serious and loving and even cut himself off to pose for a picture when he noticed a woman trying to get him in her selfie.  The guy had charisma and graciousness oozing from his pores.

 

My favorite part of concerts is that whoever you're watching on stage is doing what they love and you're part of the reason they're there.  You bought a ticket.  You supported their dream.  Sure, someone else could have been sitting there, but if you spend your whole life thinking that way, you're doing it wrong. 

 

 

During a break, Hunter said, "I can't thank you guys enough for believing in a 21-year-old kid from Louisiana and making his dream come true.  You're beautiful, every single one of you."  This is cheese-y, sure.  But my reaction was mostly continued adoration and a belief that all our dreams can come true. 

 

Like the title says, concerts bring out my inner sap.  I can't help it.  Everyone comes together with a shared love of this one kind of music and dances like idiots while singing along at the top of their lungs.  It's a fucking amazing experience.

 

Some other Hunter-centric highlights.  His song "Everybody Has Somebody" which he dedicated to "all those in the audience who, like me, are awkwardly single," his pleasantly surprising badass guitar solos, his seemingly genuine awe at the crowd's appreciation, and most of all, his energy.

 

Live music just makes me want to watch more live music.  So thank you, Hunter, for reminding me yet again that dreams come true and music unites.

 

 

*    *    *   *   *

 

 

One more... because he plays the piano like a mo-fo too.

 

  

characters i'm supposed to care about but don't

This post may get a little controversial, but stickwith me.  Or just scroll past the bits you disagree with.  Or read them and tell me how wrong I am.  Any option is okay with me.

So you know how you'll be watching a show and there's a storyline you're interested in with all your favorite characters and you're totally feeling it and then they cut and make you watch some idiot do something stupid that you don't care about at all?  ME TOO.  Weird.

While there are often plots I don't care about, more frustrating are characters I don't care about because they never go away.  Stories can change but main characters are forever.  Until they die, and even then, depending on the shows' genre, they might STILL be around.

This is the controversial part... I'm going to list some of the characters I care the least about.  And you're supposed to be invested in these people... but I'm not.  Sorry not sorry.

(These are in no specific order.. and... spoiler alert):

Bonnie (The Vampire Diaries)

This girl.  I don't care.  She's the main character's best friend.  I guess.  Though is she really?  Because the show is about Elena and the Salvatore brothers.  Both of whom are her love interests and "friends," so she doesn't even talk to Bonnie anymore.  And I'm all for girl power and sisterly bonds, but that's not what I watch this show for (there are plenty of great female characters anyway).  Bonnie's just... ugh.  She's a witch and goes through phases of loving it then hating it then going a little insane and becoming evil, only to ruin everything then cry and apologize.  And I swear they've killed her grandmother like three times.  Because it's a supernatural show, she'll keep appearing to Bonnie, but then, because she's dead, she'll leave again and Bonnie will get all upset.  I'm starting to sound heartless.  That's a horrible moment to have to relive, but I don't care about her happiness.  She exhausts me.
Why I should care: She's Elena and Caroline's best friend, she's Jeremy's main love interest, and her life is pretty terrible.  Her mom abandoned her and her dad is creepy.  People keep using her for her powers.  She's always stuck in the midst of this vampire drama that she can't get away from even though she isn't actually involved.  SHE LITERALLY DIES to save the rest of the idiots on the show.
Why I don't care: She's super annoying.  And whiney.  And stupid.  And boring.  And look at her face.  Bonnie.  Stop.

 

 

Curtis (Misfits)

 

Most people haven't seen this show.  It's British and amazing so shame on you.  Though if you indulge, I'm sure you'll agree that Curtis is unnecessary.  Though his power is awesome, it only kind of matters.  He's just... normal.  He's not as funny or weird as Nathan, he's not as hot or broken as Alisha, he's not as unique as Simon, and he's not as raunchy as Kelly.  If they were real people, this would all be even bitchier to say plus, I'd probably like how standard he is.  Though as a character, his moral compass and duty to please are draining.
Why I should care: Curtis is part of the original Misfits group and saves the day more than once.  He dates one of the main characters and loses people close to him.  There's nothing inherently unlikable about him.
Why I don't care: I'm just uninterested and everyone else is superior.

 

 

Ted (How I Met Your Mother)

First of all, he has this look on his face too often for my taste.  Not that you can't be emotional, but my God, man... pull yourself together.  At this point, I'm just waiting for him to tell his kids he didn't meet their mother at all and adopted them when they were babies.  All his friends are funny and interesting and he's so blah.  No wonder no one dates him, he's overly emotional, super invested too quickly, and pretty self absorbed.  He rarely does anything for anyone else and if he does he wants the credit... he's in his 30s.  This is getting stupid now.  Also, leave Robin alone.  Barney asked your permission before and at this point you've been broken up forever.  Plus, they're in love and you're lame so let her go.  Again, I'm getting rude.
Why I should care: Ted is the main character of a lovable show.  He's taking the time to tell his children the story of how he met their mother.  A hopeless romantic, he's always doing whatever he can to sweep a woman off her feet.  He helps his friends love lives (well, Marshall and Lily's) whenever it needs assisting.
Why I don't care: The other characters are vastly more interesting and he's dumb.

Annie (Covert Affairs)

Annie, Annie, Annie.  She just... I don't... The show is about her, and I don't care about anything that involves her (don't ask me why I kept watching).  It's like she tries too hard or something.  I feel like she wants me to care, so I can't.  The more she cares, the more I don't, and her whole shtick is caring too much so it's a real problem.  Most of the other characters are just as bland, except for Auggie (you caught me, that's why I keep watching).  And when he cares about her, I'm able to see her appeal.  It's a bizarre dynamic.  In the current season, I find her much more bearable... I wonder if that's because she's finally dating Auggie.  Huh.
Why I should care: Um, Annie is the main character.  And this is not an ensemble show.  It's all Annie all the time.  There's not really any other reason to watch this show (Auggie).  She cares a lot about others and is strong and brave.  She's a fighter and can be really sweet.  Her whole life is dedicated to saving the nation.
Why I don't care: ...I really don't know.

 

 

Emily (Pretty Little Liars)

 

I almost listed all four of the girls from PLL, but I guess I do like Aria and Hannah.  Emily is just very woe-is-me.  Which I guess isn't true anymore, she got tougher.  There's just something about her face.  It's always so serious.  Smile, bitch.  I know you're being constantly tormented but c'mon.  I don't think she's ever been happy.  Except for that split second her dad came home and they hugged.  Otherwise, nothing.  She just needs to get over herself.  Or change completely as a character because the way she is now is quite bland.  At least Spencer is some kind of genius and Aria is alternative and dating a teacher and Hannah is a hilarious fashionista.  Emily is gay, but that shouldn't be her defining quality.  I guess she's a swimmer but that only comes up when they can get a plot point out of it.  I just think she could have more oomph.
Why I should care: She's a sweetheart and really grew up when she needed to.  These four girls are bonded together for life and she's one of them.  Em should at least get the sympathy vote since her dad is always abroad and a car drove through her house.
Why I don't: Plain and simple: she's boring.


Boom.


Hope I didn't offend anyone.  And to be clear, I ripped these characters apart because they're characters... not people.  And yes, I understand the difference.

The Imaginary Mr. Collins

In case you hadn't heard (do you live under a rock?), Misha Collins gave his phone number to the internet yesterday. (Misha Collins is an actor, best known for playing Cas on Supernatural, and a twitter rockstar--seriously, do you live under a rock?) Misha was trying to promote some worldwide scavenger hunt thing (I don't really know what it was, go leave him a message asking him to explain). There were so many questions, he apparently got overwhelmed with typing answers, and decided good old fashioned conversation was a better solution. And that's when he decided to give his phone number to a million strangers. 

Now apparently it wasn't his personal phone number, more likely some google Voice number set up for this very reason. But still. A million strangers. A million very DEVOTED strangers now had a direct line to Misha Collins. 

What happened next was a little crazy. Like literally, people went crazy. A lucky few actually got to talk or text with Misha himself, and these people were blown away. Most of the reactions (posted to the internet, natch) included variations of "shaking" and "crying" and "can't breathe". It's as if they got to talk to someone that wasn't quite real. Just being acknowledged by Misha Collins seemed to change people. 

It's as if they got to talk directly to (a) God. 

And I'm fascinated by this. This being a blog about fictional things, I thought it was appropriate to explore this phenomenon here. Misha Collins, is he real or imagined? People were acting as if they were talking to someone unreal, someone they never thought they'd actually reach. It's as if certain celebrities become so big, so real in our minds that they're larger than life, they're larger than reality. I know this is not PC, but I can't help but think of how people talk about their "personal relationships with Jesus." It's like Misha Collins is his fans' Jesus; they have a personal, imaginary-friend relationship with him. And getting to actually talk to him, having this relationship go from one-sided to two-way, even for a moment, broke people. 

What does this say about celebrity? What does this say about the power of fictional things? 

Misha Collins, to most people, is a character; he's not real. He's a piece of entertainment. He's a storyline to follow on twitter. He's a persona. He's something to be consumed, like every other celebrity. 

But Misha Collins is not like every other celebrity. He talks back. And not just at cons or on podcasts or through form letters. He talks back directly, individually. For awhile it was just on twitter, but yesterday it elevated to a whole new level, and people's excitement, consequently, soared. 

But I wonder if this is sustainable? I wonder if talking to Misha Collins will be as exciting if it keeps getting easier? Isn't part of the mystique of "fictional" characters the very fact that they are unreachable? That they can be whatever we need them to be? That they have no say in this interaction? If God actually talked back, would God be so awesome? 

And why do we need Misha Collins to be awesome? I don't have the answer. I really want to know. 

Is our secular society replacing God with celebrity?

Shit just got deep.