really important fictional things : bromances, how i love you

Bromances are the best. I may even appreciate them more than most TV romances… in fact, I’m going to admit it now. I do. They’re more satisfying in a lot of ways because they don’t end (and if they do it’s because one of them died tragically trying to save the other). I don't know why female friendships aren't as fun to watch, maybe they aren't being written well or maybe we all just have to admit they're just a little less fun. My roommates and I joke around and tease each other, but there is a point with women where it goes too far. There's an invisible line that we know not to cross. This is a generalization obviously, I can't speak for all women or any men really, but it seems like with guys: there is no line. I don't know why this is or if it's true at all, maybe I’m full of shit, but on TV this is how male friendships are portrayed.

Bromances can draw their strength from blood relation to childhood bonding, but regardless, this shit is serious. Guys on TV seem to take their friendships more seriously than anything else. Having dated one half of a Bromance, I think it's safe to say they're well represented. I wanted various kinds of Bromances to be discussed, so don't be offended if your favorite platonic(ish) male friendship is missing. Here are 10 of my favorite Bromantic Relationships:

1. Sam and Dean (Supernatural) - The Real Kind

These two are for real brothers. By blood. Same parents. The whole thing. These guys, my god. They will break your heart week in and week out because as the show goes on, they only lose more, including themselves, forcing them lose each other, and I promise: it will destroy you every time. They're the best and the worst thing for each other because as long as they're in each other’s lives, it will be hell... possibly literally. But they don't seem able to function any other way. Whenever one of them goes to the dark side or tries to have a normal life, they're dragged back to the world of angels, demons, wendigos, and scary ass scarecrows. I think because they're really brothers, you know they'll always come back to each other. Though honestly, you could say that about most of these relationships. It's all the pain these two have been through together that really proves it's never ending. They've both been to hell and back, they've both died to save the other's life, and they’ve both slept in the car so their brother can get lucky. The list goes on. Sam and Dean are more than brothers, they're all they have. There isn't anything they wouldn't do for one another. I don't know how else to say it, I feel like I'm just repeating myself. If this was a romantic relationship, you'd tell them to break up because they care more about each other than themselves, it's all consuming and incredibly destructive. The Winchesters aren’t healthy, but without them, Supernatural would’ve been canceled eight years ago.

Shout out to the fact that the actors are also BFFLS. Don’t believe me? http://www.buzzfeed.com/sophie7999/jensen-ackles-and-jared-padaleckis-epic-bromance-awqx

2. Scott and Stiles (Teen Wolf) - The "Before it All" Kind

I love this show, and I’ve already written a post about Stiles, but let’s talk about this friendship. The show starts with these two and usually ends with these two. It’s actually a nice change of pace from the usual teen melodramas because romance isn’t the center of it all. They both have girls they date and are interested in, but it comes down to their friendship more often than not. And, at least for me, that’s what high school was about. The people you could count on regardless of what was going on with family or relationships. So much of high school is talking to your best friend about how to study or what to wear or, you know, handle the fact that you’re a werewolf now. Stiles has been there for Scott since the beginning and I’m big enough to admit, Scott has been there for Stiles too. Through the girls and the packs and the hunters, these guys come back to each other. The second season ends with the two of them, back on that lacrosse field, and Scott says, “I’ve lost everything,” to which Stiles cockily replies, “You still have me.” Scott smiles and reminds him, “I already had you.” Stiles winds up his shot… “You always will.” What these guys have is pure, unadulterated friendship. They aren’t blood related or forced to work together, they aren’t random roommates or awkward pseudo-siblings. They’re friends. And they understand each other. Stiles can help Scott handle his anger because he knows how his friend’s mind works. And Scott can calm Stiles down when he starts to spaz out because he knows why Stiles is the way he is. Teen Wolf is a surprisingly dark show and the characters are faced with death and darkness constantly – they lost their innocence a long time ago, yet this friendship holds onto youth somehow. Despite everything, Scott and Stiles are sturdy and always able to smile.

3. Peter and Neal (White Collar) - The Father/Son Kind

Peter is Neal’s surrogate father. There’s really no other way to look at it. Peter is FBI while Neal is a criminal, Peter is black and white while Neal lives in gray, Peter wears cheap suits while Neal wears nothing but Armani. These guys are polar opposites and make each other so much better. Without Neal, Peter would always be coloring inside the lines, he wouldn’t take his wife out for a rooftop meal and wouldn’t have such an interesting track record chasing down the bad guys. Without Peter, Neal would be in jail. Like actually. Peter has kept Neal on the straight and narrow (for the most part) since season one. I think their relationship works because they’re both so attuned to the human mind. They get each other, sure, but it’s more than that. Both of these men survive by being able to anticipate what other people are going to do, whether that be their girlfriends, their boss, or each other, they always fucking know. Another key aspect of this relationship: don’t ask, don’t tell. Peter knows Neal can only be so good and Neal knows Peter can only be so bad, but this doesn’t stop them from working together or enjoying each other’s company because they’re able to overlook what needs to be overlooked. I don’t think women could have this particular relationship. Way too much of it is built on trust, and some of that is trusting that the secrets you don’t know are for your own good. Both of these men have reputations to uphold. Whether it’s to keep their nose clean or maintain their edge, they both constantly have something at stake – you’d think this would make everything harder, but the push and pull seems to allow these two to shine in their areas of expertise and avoid the rest. Their foundation is rockier than most, but Peter needs Neal almost as much as Neal needs Peter and Neal needs Peter like whoa.

4. Mike and Harvey (Suits) - The Mentor/Mentee Kind

Is this a bromance? Or is this something else? Mike worships Harvey and Harvey also worships Harvey… so at least they have that in common. Harvey taught Mike everything he knows, or he’s in the process of doing so, which was nice but I’m ready for that to screw him over because he’s an ass. I used to love him now I think I’m tolerating him because he’s Harvey Spector: Legal God. But get over yourself so other people can act human around you, like Mike, who you’ve supposedly taken under your wing. I believe that Harvey cares about Mike, but he’ll always look after himself first. I think Mike knows that, which helps, but that doesn’t seem to stop the sting every time Harvey acts like his selfish self. I think this is one of those situations when the mentor needs the mentee more than the other way around. Mike needed Harvey to get him in the door, 100%, and I’m not saying Harvey hasn’t been there for Mike; the dude will throw down on his behalf without a moment’s hesitation, but he’s so into himself I don’t know how real his compassion for Mike is. Mike, on the other hand, is a quick learner. He’s absorbed most of what he has to from Harvey and continues to learn from everyone else. He isn’t afraid to go after the girl he wants and he cares about almost everyone he encounters – client or coworker. Harvey may be a better lawyer, but Mike is a better person. If they’re both willing to bend a little and learn as much as they can from each other, maybe this can stop being a purely working relationship and turn into a real friendship.

5. Nick, Schmidt, and Winston (New Girl) - The Roommates Kind

I’m talking about this one as a three-way. They each offer something important to the relationship. Nick brings the constant confusion and neediness of a baby animal, Schmidt adds some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder paired with overcompensating douchiness, and Winston grounds them both while keeping things spontaneous by peeling off his clothes in a fit of anxiety or stealing a badger. These guys are weird. Not the kind of weird to desperately try to avoid, but the kind of weird where you make a friend come with you the first couple times you hang out. They're all well-meaning and are usually just trying to help, but these three are a collective mess, a loveable mess, but a mess all the same. I think the strength of their bond comes from an acceptance of who each of them are. Schmidt may give Nick a hard time about being an abominable slob, but he also buys him cookies when the mood strikes him. Winston may think Schmidt is a crazy person, but he'll still yank on a wetsuit and help him look for his perfect fish. Nick may... well Nick tries. He shows his love in the ways he can, which Schmidt and Winston understand. You can only expect so much from Nick Miller. These three were even able to sustain their Bromance while living with a girl, we'll see if that continues now that said girl is dating one of them, but I have faith. All three of them need the facets of the other two's personalities because they'll never actually be able to change who they are. That being said, I'd argue they're growing up a little bit at a time, though I don't think they'd appreciate that idea.

6. Joey and Chandler (Friends) - The Needy Kind

Joey and Chandler just make me happy. You can't watch these two have a conversation without smiling. Look at them. They left a baby ON A BUS... so silly. This friendship is based on their need for a friend. I do think they genuinely come to love each other, and pretty quickly at that, but they're friends because they are needy little buggers. I mean, think about how often they hug and how sad they are when they live apart and how often they just sit together in their chairs. They share a genuine bafflement over relationships, even if Joey just doesn't understand commitment and Chandler is afraid of it. It's not that they're perfect people or anything, but they'll be there for you. No matter what. They truly care about people's happiness. Even if it's Joey letting Chandler out of the box so he can date his ex or Chandler paying every single bill on his own. Ross is part of the equation sometimes, but there's something about living with someone...a level of intimacy is reached only when you share spoons... and soap. I really do think the primary reason this relationship works is how much they care about each other. They're essentially dating without the sex. What Chandler and Joey have is something neither of them will ever be able to live without. That kind of relationship is strong and possibly undefeatable.

7. Cory and Shawn (Boy Meets World) - The Forever Kind

Cory and Shawn. Cory. And. They are who they are and that's all that matters. Sure Topanga plays a major role in Cory's life, but no one is as ever-present as Shawn. When these two are together, it's like the rest of the world doesn't matter. And there's definitely something to be said for growing up together. It proves two things: that their friendship was able to sustain over 20 years of drama and that they have a deep understanding of why they are the way they are. It's not even acceptance really, it's just an unwavering understanding. Cory doesn't go out of his way to accept Shawn's upbringing in a trailer park because he doesn't need to. It's just a fact. Same goes for Shawn and Cory's ridiculous anxiety; Shawn doesn't have to try to make Cory a calmer person, he simply does so without trying, like it's second nature. There's no debating whether these two will be friends for the rest of their lives. The answer is yes. An integral part of who Cory is, is Shawn, and vice versa. There isn't one without the other. This isn't to say there are never problems in paradise. Cory is the king of overstepping and Shawn has more barriers than anyone, so there's often an issue when Cory thinks he knows what's best for Shawn and there's a hesitation. Although it usually results in Cory backing off and then Shawn giving in and doing whatever Cory suggested in the first place. I guess the best way to describe their union is pure. It's not cluttered by outside factors, it's just a natural, long-term friendship that allows these two to be. They're Cory and Shawn. Just like it's always been. What else do you need to know?

8. Ryan and Seth (The OC) - The Unlikely Kind

This isn't the first Bromance I saw on TV, but I think it's the first time I recognized one. It had a meet-cute and everything. The other shows I watched as a kid, like Boy Meets World or Friends, had friendships from day one, and I never questioned them. With Ryan and Seth, I got to watch the friendship form. These guys are from completely different worlds and desperately needed each other. Ryan legitimately had no one: no parents, no siblings, no friends. Seth had loving parents, but that's not quite enough at 16. I don't think anyone was surprised that Seth took to Ryan. He needed a friend and here was a brother. Plus, Seth was aware of his need while Ryan was lonely, brooding, and fine with it. Seth is nothing if not persistent, and when he decided to let Ryan in, he didn't hesitate for a second. More impressive is Ryan's growing appreciation for Seth. He welcomed the constant chatter and never ending sarcasm, even picking up a few things along the way. He became a comic book lover and helped Seth go after Summer for real. This relationship is beautiful because it filled a very real void these two guys had in their lives. Without Ryan, Seth would have remained alone and gutless throughout high school. Sure, he would have gone off to college and things would have improved, but there weren't going to be any Ryan Atwoods at Brown. Without Seth, Ryan would have ended up in the system. Seth's need for him convinced Kirsten he was worth keeping around. Seth also calmed Ryan down... his flying fists took a break, and while Ryan was never going to become a Jewish geek with a trust fund, he was able to relax into his life and focus on gaining something more than a record. Watching the friendship go through so many changes while always remaining an important part of both of their lives is genuinely heartwarming.

9. Charlie, Mac, and Dennis (It's Always Sunny) - The "Everyone Else Hates Us" Kind

These are three of the worst people ever in the world to exist. They're assholes to the fullest extent. Nobody else accepts their horribleness. Just look at them. Everything about them is terrible (and amazing). Charlie definitely gets shit on the most out of these three, but depending on what each of them needs at the time, the strength of their loyalty wavers and blurs. None of these guys are to be trusted, they're always looking out for number one... potentially number two, but that's only if they're trying to win an argument about their kindness. Regardless of them all being narcissistic jackasses, they are never going to find other friends. In fact they sometimes try, but always fail because they suck so hard. No one wants to be friends with stuck up Dennis or religious psychopath Mac or drug and alcohol addicted Charlie. I don't know that there are other ways to say this. Their relationship is purely based on their mutual distrust and lack of interest in the rest of the world. And to be honest, that's not an awful foundation. Loving someone because you hate the same things is a real phenomenon. There's something soothing about your anger being justified because someone else shares your frustration over people who don't like beer or donate to charity. So while these three may not share a wholesome bromance, it's a bromance all the same. Though I'm sure none of them agree or believe in that sorta thing. Unless a hot chick does, then it's another story.

10. Damon and Alaric (The Vampire Diaries) - The Drinking Buddies Kind

Damon and Alaric's story is a classic: Hunter meets Vampire. Hunter tries to kill Vampire. Vampire kills Hunter instead. Hunter can't die, so he awakens and the Vampire is forced to confront him. They sort out some issues. Hunter helps Vampire save Vampire Brother against some Evil Vampires. Hunter and Vampire share some whiskey. Hunter and Vampire are now friends forever. Adorable right? But for real, I find this relationship very endearing. Though that might be due to my love for Damon. Mostly, it impresses me. The one thing Alaric has grown to hate more than anything is vampires, Damon specifically because he turned his wife. And obviously Damon isn't a huge fan of the guy who's dedicated his life to killing his own species. Yet when it comes down to it, these two realize they have more in common than they thought. And while trying to defeat others, they come to not hate each other. It's possible they're drawn to each other's strength, neither of these two are afraid of much, including dying, which gives them an edge in a fight. But both of them are also quite smart, which I'd argue is more important to them. Neither Damon or Alaric cares all that much if you can snap someone's neck, but if you can come up with a plan to defeat the enemy without having to snap someone's neck... that's impressive. Though, like most of these relationships, I think it comes down to acceptance. Damon knows Alaric is a hunter, he just doesn't really care. He isn't wasting his time trying to change Alaric's mind and prove that not all vampires are the bad guys. Similarly, Alaric doesn't try to turn Damon into a cuddly animal-eating vampire. He can accept that Damon is who he is and realize there isn't anything he can do about that. My favorite part of their relationship? It snuck up on them. They didn't set out trying to make things work, they simply fell into a codependent relationship and didn't question it. Even after Alaric's final death, Damon gives a scathing look and a quick, "That seat's taken," to anyone that dares to take his best friend's barstool. If that's not love, what is?

Honorable Mentions... their Bromances aren't inferior, I just hit my limit. Feel free to write why you appreciate them in the comments below or add any I missed.

11. Troy and Abed (Community) - The Indescribable Kind