pretty little liars is a clusterf*ck

*Spoilers Ahead*

 

 

I still watch this show.

 

I know, I know... I feel that needed to be stated early since I'm about to ask a lot of questions and give the series a lot of attitude. Regardless of my never-ending confusion, my constant bafflement, and my consistent complaints, I tune in every week so the joke's on me.

 

As I said though, I do have a few questions. They are in the order I thought of them so none are supposed to carry more weight than others, but so often I watch this show and think, "...what" that I had to share.

 

Let's start slow and ask an easy one... Why are they always in the woods? And why do they go in the woods alone most of the time? Multiple times one of these girls sees someone in the woods and then CHASES AFTER THEM. That is dumb. For so many reasons. First of all, they don't know who they're chasing, so I don't know what their plan is once they catch them. Though I guess that shouldn't matter because they probably won't catch them. They rarely do. They're all remarkably terrible at running through the woods, which is weird because they do it more than anyone else in the history of time. They chase people a lot actually, in a variety of venues, and you'd think statistically, they would have caught more of them by now. And these people they hurry after usually have masks on, which I get, they're villains, though the double-mask thing is odd. These bad guys keep putting two masks on at a time - guys, that's SUPER WEIRD. And sometimes, when the girls do get close enough to pull mask number one off, they hesitate before pulling off the second, so the person gets away. Clearly, these girls need to improve upon their plan of aimlessly running after people decked out in black. Really they should all be working out more. I know Emily was on the swim team and Aria took self defense classes for a hot second (which they should all be doing honestly, and this would also send a good message to the viewers), but they should all be in tip top shape so they can chase/run away from people in the woods. I think it would come in handy. They also refer to specific places in the woods too, as if they hang out by the rock over by the tree near the wildflowers all the time. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? 

Second question: Adderall addiction? Really? I did some research on this so as not to come off like an idiot. Adderall addiction is of course real and more common than you'd think. Yes, you can go through withdrawal and yes, you can hallucinate, but there are common side effects and rare ones. Spencer has every single possible side effect. I should probably be happy the show is finally showing consequences to idiotic decision making, but I'm not because what Spencer goes through is terrifying. Drug addiction is terrifying, I'd never deny that, but showing memory loss and apparent rage blackouts seems misleading. She

thinks she murdered someone by bashing their head in and CAN'T REMEMBER. Is this an episode of NCIS all of a sudden? What the hell is going on? One of the girls being in on Ali's "murder" would be fascinating, but I'm having trouble jumping on board with the theory that a drugged up Spencer whacked someone on the head with a shovel. To make things more believable, this is apparently Spencer's second time on the Adderall bandwagon (When did this previous addiction begin? Probably around the same time Hannah initially struggled with OCD on Girls - kudos if you got that reference). Because she's a second time offender, her parents send her to rehab... for three days. If you can't kick it in three days, might as well not even try, amirite? Don't worry though, because when Spencer returns, irritable as ever, she has a ridiculously good-looking, male sober companion. Good one, parents. You're all over it.

Okay. It's time to talk about Ezra Fitz because no. This guy is the worst thing ever. I know the preteen viewers love him and he's got a nice smile, but he is a grown man who knowingly hit on and emotionally seduced a teenage girl for the sake of a novel. A novel. Dude, YOU should be the subject of a book because that is super creepy and unethical and gross. I loved the idea of him being A. It has to be someone close to the girls, doesn't it? I don't think we all spend enough time thinking about how sadistic this psychopath really is, but I'll get back to that. For now, Ezra. He dated Ali and didn't know how young she was, fine. He found out and broke up with her, fine. Though I'm not sure I buy this was the original plan because are we supposed to believe he let her go but couldn't shake her from his head and needed to then write a book

about her and chase after Aria to do so? And if that is the case, the second he realized his love for Aria was real (if we accept that as fact), he should have told her the truth. Especially if he's supposedly trying to help them. But my main issue with Ezra shifting from heartthrob to villain to savior is that I flat out don't accept it. He was dressed up in a miner's costume and physically assaulted Spencer, he has camera's tracking the girls' every move and watches them from his numerous lairs, he got super fucking shady once they were discovering the "truth." Nothing about him is okay, and like Aria asked him to, he should leave town. But now he can't because he's shot and dying. Of COURSE he was shot by yet another masked mystery man because how else could he be redeemed? He can't and he shouldn't be. And what's up with this grown man only caring about these teenage girls? He has a family and a job. I don't comprehend how he is able to dedicate his life fully to four technical strangers. Sure, he fell in love with one (who he finally convinced to date him in the middle of her best friend's and his ex-girlfriend's funeral, always classy Fitz) and had a cumulative 10 minutes of heart-to-hearts with the other three. Creators were worried the audience wouldn't be able to forgive him. Not only should we not

Me too, Ezra, me too.

forgive him, Aria shouldn't forgive him. Beyond that, it's more interesting if they have to work with someone they don't trust. Ezra Fitz is a bad guy and I'm not okay with the idea that he gets a chance for redemption.






There are so many other tidbits I could rip apart, but I think I'll leave you with these final questions, the majority of which aren't related to the overall mystery because I understand now that those will never be answered: Why do they have so much time before school to conspire together/get coffee/visit boyfriends? Who dresses like that in high school - I know your edgy Aria, but maybe you should reign it in a bit? Why are all the men in Rosewood so interested in teenage girls? Is there a rule against more than one parent being in town at a time? Are any of them actually planning on going to college because shouldn't they be graduating about now? What is going on with the Rosewood Police Department? Where does Toby go? Where did Jenna go? Where did Lucas go? Why don't any of these girls ever seem to eat? And finally, because I have to, who the hell is A because this person or persons is no longer just cyber-bullying, they are attempting murderer (though they seem to suck at that part so maybe there's nothing to worry about) with way too much time on their hands and I'm over it.

But really though, what is happening? I'm lost.