the vampire dairies: who's life is actually the worst

If you keep reading this blog, you're going to see a lot of these faces.  I actually can't believe I haven't written about it yet, because for all the shows I watch, this one is at the top of the list.  Could be due to its mythical elements or maybe it's because my best friend living 3,000+ miles away watches it too or perhaps it's all for Ian Somerhalder.  Either way, I love this show, so don't speak ill of TVD around me.  If you don't like it, that's no problem, but keep your reservations to yourself, or I might have to cease communication with you. = )  Just kidding.  Sort of.

ANYWAY, the season that's about to start is season 5, and my excitement for the premiere was getting so out of hand, I had to turn to Netflix and start the show from the beginning to curb my cravings.  (Yes, I know I'm addicted.)  So as I'm watching it a second time, I'm thinking to myself, these people's lives are terrible.  Really really just awful.  For so many reasons, some of which aren't supernatural.  Even before each of them actually interact with vampires - their lives suck.  Like anyone, I have my favorite characters and usually feel the worst for them, but since I was going in trying to be biased free, I was able to realize the absurd terribleness with which that these teenagers have to deal.  But, here's the question: Who's life is actually the MOST depressing? (note: spoiler alert through to the most recent episode 4x23, don't read if you plan to watch)



Elena Gilbert: The Consistently Distressed Damsel

Subject number one.  Let's get out the basics first.  She's seventeen, parentless with a stoner little brother and a carefree aunt that she ends up taking care of more often than the other way around (love you, Aunt Jenna!), her ex-boyfriend is a sweetheart though she ripped his heart out, and her best friends are polar opposites so she's often in the middle.  Okay, that's pretty sucky.  Mainly the parentless part.  They drove off a bridge and drowned.  She was in the back seat.  Why not her?  As if teenage girls don't have enough self-doubt, this one literally questions her own existence.  Then the brother thing, I mean Jeremy is a handful and having to worry about him really shouldn't be her job, though she throws herself right into it.  Did I mention this is all pre-vampires?  Yeah, that's right.  So when vampires DO come to town, she falls in love with one (Stefan): awkward.  Of course she doesn't know initially but even when she finds out, her love is just too strong, you guys!  Besides he's a good guy really, he only kills animals, not people... anymore.  Once she accepts that he's a vampire, all should be good.  Except, well, said vampire's brother Damon is a bit of a loose cannon and needs to be kept in line.  But the biggest tribulation in this forming love triangle: she looks IDENTICAL to their mutual ex-girlfriend, you know a vampire that's hundreds of years old and quite bitchy.  I'm not going to go into the entire plot of the show explaining why Elena is so important, but bottom line, her blood can create a line of vampire-werewolf hybrids that are unflinchingly loyal to the cruelest, oldest vampire in the world.  Casual.  This means she can't be killed, but don't worry, everyone she loves can die while she watches.  And most of them are.  I think the biggest argument for Elena winning the worst life competition - she has been present when every single family member of hers has died.  Also important to mention she turns into a vampire herself making her sired to Damon so bye bye, Stefan.  Though is it real?  And shouldn't she want to be human again?  Can she be human again?  Can she have Damon OR Stefan if she's human again?  Oy vey, it never ends for this girl.

Jeremy Gilbert: The Overly Protected Kid

Like Elena, he's an orphan, but unlike Elena, he takes the easy way out of feeling this pain: hello, drugs.  Any and all kinds are welcome.  Ew.  You're too cute to be a druggie, Jer.  Luckily this doesn't last too long because his crazy ex-girlfriend dies putting him on the straight and narrow.  Well.  That's sort of what happens.  Really she becomes a vampire and his sister's boyfriend kills her but then his sister's admirer and said boyfriend's brother compels him to forget all of it.  So instead he just thinks he was abandoned.  Better?  Probably not, as he later admits the pain was still there, he just didn't know why.  No worries though because Anna comes along to turn that frown upside down.  Buuuuuuut crap, she's a vampire too and with ulterior motives.  Fortunately, Jeremy figures it out and has no problem with that facet of her personality, he just wants to be one too.  No no no, Jeremy.  Bad boy.  She refuses and he says fine and they fall in love anyway.  Guess what happens next?  Anna dies.  And Jeremy doesn't forget this time.  In the midst of his revelation, he discovers that Elena already knew and that his ancestors were vampire hunters.  Heavy stuff.  As the show goes on he dies and comes back to life a handful of times until one day he becomes a Hunter.  Yes, capital H because this means his only desire is to kill vampires.  Main hitch, Elena is now a vampire soooo.... yup, he tries to kill his sister - phenomenal.  He's convinced not to through some witch spells and all is good until he's killed for real.  Or IS he?  Bonnie (the third girlfriend and a crazy witch) brings him back only to die herself.  Fuck.

Stefan Salvatore: The Dangerously Unstable "Good Guy"

First of all, it's important to note that Stefan has 100+ years on everyone but Damon, giving him an advantage.  With that said, I have the least sympathy for this guy mainly because he's the worst thing ever.  His main issue: he has a blood problem.  I know you probably think all vampires have this problem. No no, not like Stefan.  Stefan is to blood the way crackheads are to crack.  It's bad.  He gets some human blood in his system and the dude starts ripping people's heads clean off their bodies.  While I can understand that this isn't completely his fault, when comparing his problems to other people's problems, a self-inflicted one doesn't rate very high.  He tries to control it and go in the "bunny diet" but it never works.  This makes me think maybe he's stupid.  Dude, it's almost been 150 years, how have you not realized that quitting cold turkey is going to fail?  LEARN TO CONTROL IT.  Probably important to note that the only person that has ever been able to help him is killed... by Damon.  His life really went haywire when Katherine fell in love with him.  If she hadn't, then she never would have turned him into a vampire and he never would have forced Damon to turn and most of the other horrible things that happen to these people wouldn't have happened.  Again, this isn't his fault so much as Katherine's, so I guess that makes his life pretty miserable.  The source of most of his anguish is guilt.  Over everything.  He even feels Damon's guilt, which is a waste of perfectly good self-loathing.  Bringing him up to present day, thousands of murders later, he finally finds happiness with a girl (Elena) he loves more than anything, but she ends up falling for his brother as he himself falls off the wagon.  There's hope when he discovers she's sired to him and therefore it might not be real, but don't worry... it's real, bitch.  He even gets to hear her profess her love to Damon as a nice little icing on the cake.  The real kicker?  He's then stuffed into a box by his very own evil-doppelganger and thrown into the river, where he can drown over and over and over without actually dying.  Oops.

Damon Salvatore: The Chronically Broken-Hearted and Pissed

I believe this has already come up, but just in case, fair warning: my Damon bias is a little out of control.  Back in 1864, Damon was a sweet guy who left the Confederacy because "it didn't feel right."  Then he falls in love with Katherine, which was really stupid.  Discovering she's a vampire changed absolutely nothing and he drank her blood daily in the hopes he'd  die and come back as a vampire only to be with her forever.  The snag?  She loved Stefan.  Sorry, dude.  Then she's taken from him, so he decides to die, why live without the love of his life?  And he does die, but he also had that pesky vampire blood in his system, so he comes back to life along with Stefan (even though he thought Katherine wasn't going to turn him).  No bother, he decides not to feed and he'll die for real soon enough.  But Stefan has given in to the bloodlust and forces Damon to do the same.  And now he's stuck in a life of being a villain as he promises to make Stefan's life miserable.  Luckily Damon discovers that Katherine isn't dead, only locked in a tomb by a spell, and so begins Damon's quest for all the necessary ingredients needed to release his girlfriend.  Fast forward 140 years: the guy is STILL looking for a way to free Katherine.  He goes to the town his brother has returned to, causes general mayhem all in the name of love, and finds out that Katherine is alive and well and was never in the tomb to begin with.  She just doesn't care about him and never really did (she even returns to tell him so - it was always Stefan).  Ouch.  Since he had successfully hurt everyone in town at this point, Elena is his only friend because, as she put it, "they have something."  Naturally, he falls in love with her but again, "it's always going to be Stefan."  So Damon pulls back his feelings and helps the town's teenagers with their wayward problems despite them hating his whatever-it-takes mentality.  He slowly gains some friends in Mystic Falls, but a lot of them are killed, including his best friend.  Then Elena turns into a vampire.  And she chooses him.  Someone, FINALLY, chooses him.  But wait, she's sired to him so it's probably fake.  Everyone, and I do mean everyone, agrees that there's no way Damon could ever be loved.  Then the miraculous happens and she breaks the sire bond and says it again, "I love you, Damon.  I love you."  He gets the girl and this should catapult him out of the competition, but can we please note that this is the first time anyone has said they love him since the 1800s?  Chew on that for a sec.

Caroline Forbes: The Vampire Barbie

Before all the supernatural goings on in Mystic Falls, Caroline was doing okay.  She was actually Miss Mystic and everything.  Sure she had a lame relationship with her mom and her parents were divorced, but she was a pretty what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of girl.  There was a little romantic drama in her life since she always picked the bad boys but then she picked Matt, who is far from a bad boy.  She needed to push a little, but he fell in love with her eventually...right around the time she became a vampire and developed a new desire to suck him dry.  Kinda put a damper on the relationship.  The whole monster-of-the-night thing looks kind of awesome on Caroline though.  Sure, there were some bumps in the beginning when she killed an innocent man, but unlike Stefan, the guilt didn't tear her apart and unlike Damon, she didn't revel in it.  The girl got a back bone and grew into herself.  Which was good and bad because her parents detest vampires more than anything else.  Her mom literally tries to plan ways to kill her when she figures it out and her dad kidnaps and tortures her.  Can you imagine your own dad tying you to a chair and inflicting physical harm all to change who you are?  THEN when he inadvertently gets turned into a vampire, himself he's faced with a choice: drink human blood and turn as well or die.  He dies.  He hates what she is so much he'd rather die than be the same.  In the midst of her Daddy-drama, she stops seeing Matt for fear of hurting him and starts to date a werewolf, who can literally kill her with one bite.  Said werewolf (Tyler), gets turned into a hybrid so he's part vampire/part werewolf and is also sired to his creator Klaus.  Klaus is horrific and cruel but falls in love with Caroline.  This seems to both help and hurt her because she can get him to save her friends from time to time, but he also enjoys sending Tyler away so he can have Caroline all to himself.  I wouldn't call C-Forbes' life easy, but in comparison to the others, she's got an easy ride.

Bonnie Bennett: The Used and Abused Witch

If I liked Bonnie more, I'd probably admit that her life is the worst, or at least on the Gilbert/Salvatore level.  As it is, I think she's annoying.  But putting my opinions aside, here are some facts: She essentially always knew she was a witch or that she was at least something.  She figures it out right around the time the vampires arrive.  Prior to this, she has a relatively calm and happy life.  As the vampires start to need her help, she gets roped in via Elena.  Elena is her best friend and she cares about the Salvatore's, so Bonnie protects them when she can even if she harms herself in the process.  While attempting the most serious feat for Damon (who she hates btw), her grandmother (who raised her and is also a witch) helps but dies in the process.  Bonnie takes a break from Elena and the drama, explaining that she isn't going to ask her best friend to choose but she needs time away from the vampire mayhem.  Sorry, Bonnie, because you're just going to keep getting pulled back in.  I could go through each scenario but the main gist is this: a witch is needed almost always and Bonnie is the only one in Mystic Falls, therefore she is involved in everything and used constantly.  Lucky for her, she can normally outsmart whoever is trying to screw her over and hurt them regardless, but the pain never ends.  Her biggest flaw is her addiction to the magic.  She starts relying on it too heavily and when it's taken away and dark magic is her only option, she gives in quickly causing her to accidentally kill herself while trying to save Jeremy.  Her other downfall is a strict view of right and wrong; she doesn't allow a grey area, so she butts heads with almost everyone at some point or another.  The saddest truth is that everyone took her for granted, except maybe Jeremy, but loving him only seems to result in death.

Tyler Lockwood: The Desperately Angry and Reformed Jackass

Tyler has always had an anger management problem. Prone to rage blackouts and all.  To put it plainly: he was a dick.  And then his abusive father died.  Making him a bigger dick.  He made out with his best friend's mom.  Who does that?  And he attacks both his mom and his enemies, basically anyone that gets in his way ends up with a fist in their face.  It's not his fault though, he has werewolf in his system.  Obviously.  So his uncle Mason, who actually IS a werewolf, comes to Mystic Call to check on him. Tyler can tell there's something he doesn't know and long story short, convinces Mason to tell him the family secret: if you trigger the curse, you're a werewolf forever.  To trigger the curse, you have to take human life, intentional or accidental - doesn't matter.  Blood on your hands and once a month you have to chain yourself up, drink some poison, and hope you don't escape when in wolf form.  But before Tyler goes through the change, Mason disappears (Damon kills him) and Tyler is on his own.  Stellar.  This is around the time he falls for Caroline who is dating Matt (his supposed best friend) and discovers his bite could kill her.  This results in Tyler leaving town to figure his life out - probably the smartest move any of these characters have ever made.  When he finally returns, he's captured to be used as a sacrifice.  Damon saves him, along with Caroline, but he's quickly turned into a hybrid, which is arguably worse.  Being a hybrid means he doesn't have to go through the hell of turning into a wolf anymore therefore creating an unwavering loyalty toward Klaus, who's blood turned him.  Loyalty probably isn't strong enough, it's more like blindly following.  If Klaus says "rip out your heart," Tyler would end his own life.  It's an insane level of commitment, which Tyler tries to break.  He even succeeds.  Klaus shows how impressed he is by killing Tyler's mother (yet another orphan in Mystic Falls).  Now Tyler can't kill Klaus because he's an Original, and if you kill an Original, you kill any vampire in their bloodline, so by killing Klaus he would kill himself.  Klaus has no qualms about killing Tyler however, and this forces Tyler to run yet again - yes, away from Caroline (the only person who seems to care about him for some reason).

Matt Donavan - The Human

Matt is the only human character left.  Prior to the vampires, he was nursing a broken heart, taking care of his older, drug-addicted sister, and running the household both his parents abandoned.  Post-vampire, he watches his old ex-girlfriend Elena fall in love with Stefan, his sister is turned into a vampire and then killed by Damon, his new ex-girlfriend Caroline becomes a vampire as well then dates his best friend Tyler, who happens to be a werewolf  He's then used as a blood bag/helpless victim over and over again.  Not to mention two manipulative, older vampires, Rebekah and Katherine, find him dreamy and try to woo him.  He's caught in the middle of everything while having essentially no power or control compared to all those supernaturally enhanced.  Matt's also the only one with real world problems on top of the rest, or seems to be.  I don't see how the others are passing high school, but he's the only one that needs tutoring.  None of them have money problems either, but Matt has to hold down a job amidst the crazy.  His mom comes back only to leave again.  He's alone, physically and emotionally.  In every way a person can be abandoned, he has been.  Yet it's everyone's love for him or their appreciation for untainted human life that Matt saves the un-save-able, whether it be Caroline controlling herself, Jeremy not attacking Elena, Tyler relaxing, Elena turning her humanity back on, or Rebekah wanting to change her lifestyle.  He's innocence in a world of sin.  While everyone's life is pretty dismal on this show; I might have to give the prize to Matt.  Maybe that's just because I'm human and his life is the one easiest to relate to, but I hope this season they give him something to smile about.

I love this videographer on YouTube (ChemAttraction) and she captures the show well.  Here's some proof of the pain:

*The Original Family isn't mentioned because that's a whole post in and of itself.  Alaric and Jenna are also left out due to the fact that I focused on the teenagers.